This episode was co-written by Gideon Yago! MTV News' Gideon Yago! Please tell me there's an episode co-written by Sway on deck.
Tonight's episode begins with News Night, which is a change from the other two episodes, where we had to wait an hour to see the only relatively good part of the show. Way to play to your strengths, Sorkin/Yago. Oh, no, wait. It's turns out this isn't a news broadcast at all, but cleverly disguised lecture-speech pretending to be a heartfelt editorial from Will. The show opens with "Richard Clark" testifying before the 9/11 Commission and apologizing for failing the victims of 9/11 and their families. I'm sorry, but how did Dick Clark fail anyone on 9/11? He just counts down the ball drop on New Year's Eve. Oh, hold on a second. I believe that's Richard Clarke we're watching right now, who was the counter-terrorism advisor to the Bush government when 9/11 happened. That makes much more sense. You know what doesn't make sense? That this show got the spelling of his name wrong. That's just inexcusable. You can use your 60 minutes of airtime to lecture your audience on what a quality newscast should be or you can misspell the names of fairly prominent people, but you can't do both.
Anyway, the Clark(e) clip is from a 2004 hearing about events that happened in 2001, so what's it doing on a news show that takes place in 2010 but is airing in 2012? Well, Will is using it to demonstrate his point: "adults should hold themselves accountable for failure." Yes, that's right: he's saying that trying to get ratings for a basic cable news show is a failure akin to failing to prevent the worst terrorist act on American soil that killed almost 3,000 people. Just so you know what level of douchiness we're in for this week.
As Will talks and talks, we see him sitting down with a pad of paper, a pen, a beer, and a cigarette and writing the first draft of this speech out. Will says he is only apologizing for himself and not anyone else on ACN or any other news channel. Just for his own "trainwreck of failures." I hope he means last night's show, because that certainly was a trainwreck of failures. I'm not sure how any of his other shows qualify, though. Will says he is the "leader" of an industry that has "miscalled election results" (as opposed to those awesome newsmen in the late '40s, who totally rocked the Truman-Dewey election results), "hyped up terrorist scares" (again, that is definitely not isolated to our modern times), "ginned up controversy" (whatever), and "failed to report on tectonic shifts in our country" (I fell asleep).