Someone turns the lights down as Charlie welcomes us to Princeton for the fifth debate of the 2012 Republican primaries. Will says the rules are as follows: "I will question a candidate until I'm done." They each get an opening statement. Jim, as Michele Bachmann, goes first. Tate cuts him off to criticize his Bachmann impression. Will says this isn't an SNL sketch. Too bad. Will cuts the opening introductions short and asks Don Santorum about his statement that he wanted America to be about freedom and didn't want to have to tell his grandchildren that America used to be free. Will asks him for three freedoms he no longer has since Obama took office.
This is a terrible question, by the way. It's so simplistic. Santorum isn't necessarily saying that Obama has already taken those freedoms away -- he's saying that Obama and the Democratic Party are trying to change America and strip freedoms away over time. Don says Obamacare. Will asks how Obamacare has affected his freedom, since no one in Santorum's family has had to change doctors. Not the point! First of all, the ACA doesn't totally go into effect until 2014. Second of all, it will take away the freedom not to have health insurance. You have to either get insurance or you pay a fine. I'm not saying I agree with Santorum (ew) or that I'm against Obamacare. Just that Will is distorting the facts as much if not more than the candidates do.
Mock debate montage time. Shockingly enough, the mock debate appears to be Will yelling at the candidates and giving them all of two seconds to try to speak. Tate finally tells them to stop and asks to speak to Adam privately. Will points them to his office. Tate seems mad. I don't think he liked the mock debate. After all that! Will turns to his crap team and says they did a good job. Then he heads into his office. He doesn't close the door behind him, so everyone (especially Brian, probably) can hear all the shouting. Tate shouts that Will is trying to embarrass all the Republican candidates. Will shouts that they wouldn't be embarrassed if they could defend their claims. "Nobody could stand up to that kind of questioning!" Tate shouts. Will shouts that that was far from brutal questioning. Adam just mutters his support of Will, then says a debate like this will make the bad candidates drop out and leave the serious candidates in the race. "This is about him," Tate says, nodding at Will; "he wants to look tough by making the candidates look like idiots." Ding ding ding ding ding! We have a winner! This debate is All About Will. It's pretty freaking obvious.