And here's Will's big wrap-up, which is kind of like a Jerry Springer Final Thought. He lists the fundamental ideals of the Tea Party, according to Sorkin: ideological purity, compromise as weakness, a fundamentalist belief in scriptural literalism, big complicated words apparently denying science, unmoved by facts, undeterred by new information, a hostile fear of progress, a demonization of education, a need to control women's bodies, severe xenophobia, tribal mentality, intolerance of dissent and a pathological hatred of the US government. This, Will says, makes them "the American Taliban." "And the American Taliban can't survive if Dorothy Cooper is allowed to vote." Leona watches and nods. With that, Will tells his audience to stick around for a real news show hosted by a real journalist -- Terry Smith!
The show ends, and everyone in the newsroom cheers about how awesome it was. Many hands are shaken. Excuse me, but where is Rodney Dangerfield guy? Did he get fired? Is he unconscious on his bathroom floor? I'm worried!
Dr. Dr. Sloan and Don have an awkward conversation, now that Don knows how she feels about him and she's not leaving. "We will never speak or make eye contact ever again starting now," Dr. Dr. Sloan says. Well, that's one way to handle it.
Don and Maggie make out in the middle of the newsroom. Jim stares at them. Don walks away and Jim comes over. He says he thinks Maggie might be avoiding him. She is such a child. Apparently, she talked to Lisa, who told her that she and Jim had "a good talk." Jim says that when Maggie didn't answer his phone call, he figured she got distracted by something shiny and forgot that she didn't want to be with Don anymore and agreed to move in with him. As for Jim, he told Lisa that he came to the apartment to see her. Not Maggie. It was a lie, so we can all look forward to Maggie "accidentally" telling Lisa this next season.
Will tries to make it to his office without talking to MacKenzie, who chases after him, desperate to find out what the message said. Will won't tell her, so she tries to bore it out of him by saying that Maggie and Don are moving in together when Maggie should be with Jim and Don should be with Dr. Dr. Sloan. How does MacKenzie know about Dr. Dr. Sloan's feelings for Don? Maybe Dr. Dr. Sloan told her over drinks when she was assuming that MacKenzie wasn't paying attention?
Will mentions his hallucination of MacKenzie at Northwestern, because Sorkin is determined to wrap up almost every loose end with this season finale. Even the ones no one remembers or cares about. MacKenzie whips out her trusty, unused for almost two years now notepad with the "IT'S NOT" and "BUT IT CAN BE" written on it. She's been carrying this pad around for this long, just waiting for the right time to spill the beans? Or maybe she just doesn't ever write in the pad because she's illiterate. Will stares at them and realizes that it wasn't a hallucination in the audience after all. "You're melting now, aren't you?" MacKenzie asks, grinning like an idiot; "Your heart is full. Just say what you're feeling." And she leans in for a kiss, only to get this: "Why the... FUCK! Didn't you tell me?!" Ha ha ha! No special moments for you, MacKenzie!