Three weeks later, Will returns to work after a post-Northwestern outburst vacation. His staff watch him walk into his office, then resume their conversation. Don and Maggie were arguing about whether or not Don should meet Maggie's visiting parents after only dating her for four months. Neal just wants them to take their personal crap somewhere else so he can stay firmly on the periphery of this show. They walk ten feet away from Neal's desk and argue about something else: the "stupid decision" Maggie made for loyalty reasons while Don made a "smart" decision because of "ambition." "He can't remember your name, and I'm the asshole," Don says. The "he" they're referring to is Will, who earned Maggie's undying stupid loyalty because he promoted her from lowly intern to a lowly assistant. "He didn't promote you, honey. He thought you were his assistant," Don condescends. And I'd really not like Don for that, except for the fact that he's right, and that's why he gets to go to "pizza meetings" and Maggie is stuck in a mostly-empty office working for a guy who just took ten minutes to realize that nearly all of his employees are somewhere else. Also, Maggie tells us that Don is a "hotshot EP out of Columbia J-School," and Columbia J-School rules. Suck it, Medill!
"You're making a mistake," Don says. "I'm used to them by now," Maggie says. Are we supposed to like Maggie? She's terrible at everything so far. Will wanders into the bullpen and asks where his staff is. Don refuses to answer, telling him to "see Charlie." Don then leaves, so Maggie steps up to talk to Will except that, once again, she sucks at life so she can't cross the room without tripping over a chair. When she finally gets to Will, it's to tell him the same thing Don just did: to see Charlie. "You're Ellen?" Will asks her. "Maggie. Margaret," MaggieMargaret says. Will rightly grows impatient with her and asks for "Karen." But no one in that office is even named Karen. Will thinks Karen is his assistant. "I'm your assistant!" Maggie says. "You're Ellen," Will says. "Mmmargaret!" Maggie says. Will asks if Charlie's secretary (Charlie doesn't have an assistant, I guess) is named Karen. "No one's named Karen. No one," Ellrengaret says. It turns out that Charlie's secretary is named Angela. Way to take your character names out of the 1950 Most Popular Baby Names book, Sorkin.