Will heads into Charlie's office. Charlie is Will's boss and he is played by Sam Waterston, who is awesome. Also, how does he have such a full head of hair? It can't possibly be real, can it? Amazing. Charlie says Will is looking great after his two week mandatory vacation to St. Lucia that he apparently took with Erin Andrews, as if she hasn't suffered enough. Will just wants to know what's going on, but Charlie would rather tell stories about being a journalist in Vietnam. Finally, he says some guy named Elliot will be anchoring a show at 10 pm that starts in two weeks and most of Will's staff is going to work on it under Will's soon-to-be-ex-Executive Producer, Don the Parent Hater.
Will storms out to confront Elliot. Charlie runs after him. Will says he gave Elliot every break he's had in the business and rallied for him to get the 10 pm slot, only for Elliot to poach Will's EP. "Don asked to go," Charlie says. Will thinks it's about his little Northwestern outburst, but Charlie indicates it's more about how unpleasant Will is to work for, something Will doesn't seem to understand. "You're drunk most of the time," Will says, so pleasantly. Charlie happily agrees. "Try not to make a scene," he begs Will.
"HEY, DICKLESS!" Will screams at Elliot, happily pizza partying with his new staff. Elliot, followed by Don, go into the hallway to get this over with. Will is indignant at Don's betrayal "after all the time we've spent working side by side." Don points out that "all the time" is just thirteen weeks. "That's the longest I've ever worked with anybody!" says the guy who doesn't think he's the problem. "I'll replace you in fifteen minutes," he says. This breaks through Don's attempts to be diplomatic and professional, and he says he didn't asks to leave Will's show because of the things he said about America or to that unfortunate "sorority girl" who is now apparently thinking of suing the school for "mental anguish." Wait, can we do that? Can I sue my school for mental anguish? Because I had to work really hard there and sometimes professors didn't tell me how awesome every single thing I ever did was and that hurt my feelings so I want three million dollars.
"It's your personality," Don says. Will doesn't understand. Don clarifies: he and the others are leaving the show because Will is unpleasant. "I'M AFFABLE!" Will screams affably. Don says Will certainly likes to appear that way on TV, but in real life, Will yelled at Don in front of everyone and Don can't handle that because they don't teach you how to get humiliated in front of people at Columbia J-School. Will insists that he is a great person to work for and that Maggie's name is Ellen. Maggie makes an "oh shit" face and shakes her head. "You are a smart, talented guy who isn't very nice," doesn't have much time left in the spotlight, and couldn't come up with a better excuse for his actions than blaming it on a bad reaction to vertigo medicine, Don says.