It goes to the control room, who throw out the volcano ash travel difficulties story in preparation for this. Will takes a moment in the bathroom to think and stare at his shaky hands before using them to rip open his dry cleaning. Yes, that's right: this show is so thrilling that we're watching someone open his dry cleaning.
MacKenzie heads into the control room as Will settles behind the desk. MacKenzie tells the staff to get Will into some better wardrobe, suggesting dark colors and designers brands. One guy thinks that will make Will look like an "elite prick." MacKenzie says that's what she wants to "make sexy again." The guy wonders when that was ever sexy. "Ask the Kennedy brothers," MacKenzie asks. Didn't everyone in the '60s wear clothes from Botany 500?
MacKenzie decides to take the last 90 seconds Will has to prepare for the show to talk into his earpiece and tell him that he might be able to fire her every week, but for one hour a week, she gets to own him through his earpiece, "for your own good and for the good of all." Yes, cable news shows truly are for the good of all. Thanks, cable news! Thanks for doing it not as good as Comedy Central for over a decade now!
Will refuses to bow to MacKenzie's will, so she takes over the graphics desk and changes the show's title card to "Vertigo Medicine with Will McAvoy." MacKenzie refuses to change it back to the real title until Will agrees to do her bidding. This somehow leads to Will screaming "YOUTUBE! YOUTUBE! YOUTUBE!" and then bowing to MacKenzie with 10 seconds left until air. As the show is about to air, some guy finally notices that there's no script. MacKenzie says Will is all about that, and the show begins.
It's News Night with Will McAvoy! By the way, this show's opening credits are much less self-important and shorter than The Newsroom's. I approve. All Will has to go on from the teleprompter is "Good evening, I'm Will McAvoy." The rest, he'll be winging, which he does perfectly because Will might be a terrible human being but he is great at improv.
While that's going on, Jim is trying to get a statement from BP. MacKenzie is telling Will via his earpiece to yell at government officials for not having a contingency plan in place if the worst were to happen, which it now has. And Maggie is freaking out over something she just heard on the phone, but once again lacks the ability to put her phone call on hold to tell anyone about it, so she just tries to whisper-shout and jump up and down and hope Jim sees or hears her. "You have a hold button," Don reminds her. She uses it and shows Jim what she got. Whatever it is, it causes Jim's jaw to drop. "Come with me," he says. Maggie runs after Jim, forgetting her phone headpiece is still on and nearly choking herself on the wire. This can all be seen on the show, as Will broadcasts from his newsroom so the world can see the crazy people who work for him.