"It's your personality," Don says. Will doesn't understand. Don clarifies: he and the others are leaving the show because Will is unpleasant. "I'M AFFABLE!" Will screams affably. Don says Will certainly likes to appear that way on TV, but in real life, Will yelled at Don in front of everyone and Don can't handle that because they don't teach you how to get humiliated in front of people at Columbia J-School. Will insists that he is a great person to work for and that Maggie's name is Ellen. Maggie makes an "oh shit" face and shakes her head. "You are a smart, talented guy who isn't very nice," doesn't have much time left in the spotlight, and couldn't come up with a better excuse for his actions than blaming it on a bad reaction to vertigo medicine, Don says.
Charlie suddenly sobers up and flies into a rage attack: "I AM A MARINE, DON. I WILL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU, I DON'T CARE HOW MANY PROTEIN BARS YOU EAT!" I don't know why this show is an hour and 15 minutes long when we really only need that on a loop for five minutes. Everyone takes a breath and Will says Don is smart, and smart men are part of Will's Master Plan for America, so he can't stay mad at him. Don says he appreciates everything Will has done for his career and will try to ensure that things transition as smoothly as possible in the two weeks before he starts working for Elliot. He heads back to the pizza party. Will gives Elliot a "good luck with the show, man."
Charlie and Will move their meeting to a place that serves alcohol, for Charlie's sake. Charlie says Don wasn't entirely wrong about Will, but Will would rather talk about how he had no idea that people didn't like working for him. I guess he thought all the staff turnover was because people liked working for him so much that they had to get out of there as soon as possible to give their friends a chance to do it, too? "I am a perfectly nice guy and I have to focus group data to prove it!" Will says. No one ever says that. Not even Sorkin says that. Because he can't, because there is no way a focus group sat through this show and gave it glowing reviews unless they fell asleep until the last 10 minutes of it. Charlie slurs that he's already taken care of the problem and hired Don's replacement. Will can't believe Charlie would do something like this without giving Will a chance to meet "him," to which Charlie says it's a "her" and he has met her before. Will knows Charlie is talking about MacKenzie McHale and he is not happy. Charlie says he's trying to "right the ship" that is Will's show because even those precious focus groups are starting to turn against him.