Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: B | Grade It Now!
Hookin' For Uranium

Dadich is getting settled into his fancy hotel suite under Michael and Percy's watchful eyes. Michael is worried that the location isn't secure. Percy's like, "Oh, pish posh! What could possibly go wrong?" Michael rattles off the list: "Communist rebels, hitmen from the old country... Nikita?" He even reminds Percy that Nikita threatened to come after them. Percy dismisses all that: "She can't come after us without intel!" Dude, you established just last week that she has intel. In fact, as we see in a cutaway, Nikita is at her fabulous loft right now, getting a message from Alex in the computer lab. [Again, giving new recruits in a top-secret program who were recently junkies e-mail access seems like a bad idea. - Zach] Back in the suite, Dadich offers Percy a drink and goes over the plan Division has already laid out. They're going to assassinate Dadich's successor and then return him to power in six months. Dadich doesn't have the money for their services, but Percy says Dadich can pay him in the 25 kilos of enriched uranium he stashed away before going to prison. "A little uranium always comes in handy," Percy says. Sort of like tomato paste, it's always good to have some around. Dadich looks like he's passing a pine cone through his urethra, but Percy tells him to relax. "This is me you're talking to, not the US government." Dadich agrees to think it over. All he needs is some time and a few other things. Wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more. Dadich leaves the room. Michael's confused about what it is that Dadich wants. "The man just got out of prison," Percy says. "What do you think he wants?" A private bathroom? Metal utensils? Booze that wasn't made in a toilet? The answer, of course, is female tail, and Michael is disgusted to be pimping for Dadich. Percy complains about budget shortfalls, so it's either this or getting rid of the "young recruits." But then who would do their assassinating? Helen Mirren? Michael agrees to call an escort service, but Percy has the brilliant idea to use Alex instead. Why? "She'll remind Mirko of his homeland!" Michael looks stricken by the stupidity of this plot.

Meanwhile, Alex is still messaging Nikita. She's confident that Birkhoff thinks she's an idiot, but Nikita tells her not to underestimate him and not to screw up too much. Nikita turns on a TTS program that reads Alex's messages out loud to her so that she has her hands free to play with her new gun. She asks Alex for a new name, but she doesn't have it. They talk about how Nikita knows it's a "protection mission" based on the operatives Alex told her were activated. Nikita tells Alex to lay low, but Alex is insistent she can get the information. She really doesn't seem that well-trained to me. "You don't have to protect me anymore," Alex says.

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