A pretty young woman in a sparsely furnished but gorgeous loft sits at her computer before picking up a gun. Her voice-over tells us her name is Nikita and that six years ago, she was taken out of prison and forced to be an assassin for the government. Three years ago, she escaped. "I was the first recruit to get out," she tells us as she stares seriously at a pinkish blob just out of focus. "I'm going to make certain I'm not the last." Cue the steely title card, which fades into the cartoon rabbit mask of my nightmares. The mask is worn by a woman holding a gun on several hostages. Bugs shouts, "Come on!" and her partner, wearing an equally nightmarish pig mask hoofs it over to a medical vault. Porky starts shoveling armfuls of prescription bottles into a bag. One of the hostages takes Bugs's gun. Porky shoots him from behind, splattering Bugs red with his innards. Cops arrived on the scene. Porky gets away, but Bugs Bloody trips in her haste. Cops grab her and tear off her mask, revealing a panicked teenager. The caption identifies her as Alex in Detroit, MI.

Alex is dragged into prison, but fights against her captors. A man in a suit watches the struggle, looking quite pleased with what he sees. Everything goes white. Next time we see Alex, she's waking up in a different place, bleary-eyed and disoriented. The man in the suit greets her. He says as far as anyone else knows, she's dead. He shows her a death certificate to prove it. "My name is Michael," he says, his voice as weaselly as it is raspy. "I work for the government." They're giving her a second chance because she's "a young, attractive, white female," with no paper trail. Even more impressive, he says, she managed to kill a criminal they've been tracking for ages. "I didn't kill no one!" she protests as he grabs her wrist, but realizes it's a losing battle. He says they'll teach her how to walk, talk, and serve her country. Be all that you can be!

Nikita walks into a pool party in a teeny-weeny red bathing suit and catches the eye of a portly older gentleman. He waves her over to his jacuzzi, making innuendos about her getting "wet." She pretends to lean in for a kiss and instead snaps his neck, much to his surprise. She reaches for a nearby knife and chucks it into a bodyguard's chest. Another guard comes at her with a gun; she fights him off with a chair. She runs inside, calling on a cell phone for "extraction" now that her target is down. A familiar raspy, weaselly voice on the other end tells her it's impossible. Suddenly, Michael is right behind her, a gun leveled at her head. "There is no out," he says, and pulls the trigger.