Recapper: All by yourself?
Katie: Sure. I mean, the rest of the gang can chime in when they want, but let me get this. I'm feeling extra-empowered, today.
Recapper: Knock yourself
up out, girl.
Katie: I see what you did there. Hee. Okay you ready? Let's go. So this woman is jogging, right? And she's attacked. Other joggers hear her scream, but they reach her too late. She's been slashed to death -- apparently by a wild animal.
Jesse: Which of course is me.
Katie: But we don't know that, yet.
Jesse: Why belabor it? This show is toast. They're airing the next new episode this Saturday night. That's a quick burn-off.
JJ: I think there's a conflict with March Madness.
Jesse: Doesn't matter. They want the fat lady to sing our funeral dirge before May sweeps, and that's that.
Katie: Guys! Let me do this. So yeah, George notices the "animal" has five claws instead of four, and that gets everyone thinking there's a super villain at work.
Jesse: Yeah. Me. This is what I mean about belaboring.
Katie: I know I look all cute and feminine, but you do not want to mess with me, Manimal.
Jesse: The name is Jesse.
JJ: Actually it's Lucas Winnick.
Recapper: Not on my watch. He's Jesse here, and that's that.
Katie: I don't get to make up nicknames?
Recapper: Let's decide that on a case-by-case basis. In this case, no, you do not, because I've already given him his nickname, and it confuses the hell out of the readers when characters have multiple nicknames.
Katie: Well, I'd been hoping for a little more autonomy, but whatever. I can see you're in no mood. Anyhow, at school, when Chris asks Daphne to ditch school to see Sarah Bareilles shoot a video in town, she says she wants to finish her history paper first. Once Daphne is gone, Lucas strong-arms JJ into writing the paper, threatening to out him as a super-genius if...
Chris: Can I just say that threat sucks? I mean, who is going to believe me that he's a super-genius or that super-geniuses even exist? All he has to do is not say smart stuff out loud and I look like a crazy person. Besides, Daphne would hate me if I did that.
Daphne: Yeah, I'm a little surprised I don't end up kicking your ass to the curb once JJ confronts me about your demand. I feel a little... pathetic.
Chris: Don't baby. Once this show is over, we'll start out with a clean slate in fan fic. Deal?
JJ: So anyhow, I make a bargain with my sister. I'll do her paper -- for her, not for old Lube Locks -- if she'll try to figure out what the hell is going on with Professor Dick. He is giving me these equations that are way too complex to have anything to do with the academic decathlon nonsense.