No Ordinary Family

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No Ordinary Katie

Daphne: Deal.

JJ: So anyhow, I make a bargain with my sister. I'll do her paper -- for her, not for old Lube Locks -- if she'll try to figure out what the hell is going on with Professor Dick. He is giving me these equations that are way too complex to have anything to do with the academic decathlon nonsense.

Professor Dick: But I just tell him to shut up and get cracking. Um, while I have the mic, I just have one question. When you people call me "Professor Dick," why doesn't Michael Oher pop up and say, "MY NAME IS KENNY AND HIS NAME IS PROFESSOR LITCHFIELD."

Michael Oher: MY NAME IS KENNY AND YOU'RE A TOTAL DICK FOR BUSTING ME FOR CHEATING WHEN I DIDN'T CHEAT SO, I THINK "PROFESSOR DICK" IS MORE THAN APT.

Professor Dick: Whatever, Blind Side.

Recapper: HEY, HIS NAME IS KENNY. YOU DON'T GET TO "WHATEVER, BLIND SIDE," HIM, BECAUSE YOU SUCK. WHY DON'T YOU GO AWAY NOW?

Professor Dick: I can see where I'm not wanted.

JJ, Daphne and Chris: You're not wanted at school, either.

Katie: ENOUGH! I need to get back to the story. (After making a parenthetical objection to the fact that JJ just got to nickname Chris "Lube Locks," without recapper approval. I know. I know. Case-by-case basis, but this is my baby!)

Recapper: (Parenthetical objection acknowledged, but I like Lube Locks, so over-ruled. Oh, but I see what you did, there. Very nice, Katie. Please continue.)

Katie: Where was I? Oh yeah, at Global Tech, Stephanie confronts Dr. King about the jogger's death. She wants to know if one of their supers is responsible. He swears none of their supers have slashy animal power.

Dr. King: Which is a flat-out lie. Muauahahahahahaha.

Jesse: Cut to me. I'm on the town, scratching up cars because, um... because I can, I guess. Just then Xena's limo pulls up. She asks me why I left the jogger's body in the park. I explain to her that people heard the screaming. I had to run.

Xena: I make it clear he should have eliminated them, too. I don't tolerate mistakes.

Ghost of Six: She really doesn't.

Jesse: Right, so now I have to go get the body from the morgue.

George: And my buddy, the coroner, who just called me to tell me to come see him immediately? He's toast.

Jesse: Yeah, I have to kill him and take his corpse, too, but I leave behind plenty of blood, to make it perfectly clear he's dead. Not that it isn't clear, anyhow.

Recapper: Right. What's not clear is how you got two bodies out of the morgue in broad daylight without attracting any attention at all.

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No Ordinary Family

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