Jim: So I throw my hotdog in the trash and follow... Sparkles for a couple of blocks, then catch up with him in a long alley. There's a little bit of back and forth where he realizes I'm a super, too, and then we fight. I smash him up against a wall. HE STARTS A FIRE WITH HIS FRICKING HANDS. Do you understand me? He is beating me up. WITH FIRE. We're in a remote alley, so I grab a dumpster lid as a shield, but pretty soon, the sucker is going to melt.

Steph: And that's when I save the day. No, don't ask me how I know where to find them, but I do. Then I charge up behind Sparkles, grab a pipe, conk him over the head and knock him out. Just then, the cops show up. No, don't ask how they know where to go, either. Jim grabs me and at first I think he wants to... celebrate our anniversary right there in the alley, and although I'm all atwitter with adrenaline I have my standards, so I suggest we retire to the hotel, instead, but he just wants to keep our secret identities secret.

Jim: Well, that's not all I want, I just...I have my standards, too. But what's worrisome is the cops are taking Sparkles into custody.

Nice, Comfy, PROTECTIVE ROCK: Right, because how do they know that this random guy who's passed out in an alley is the arsonist?

Jim: [scoffing] Nah. That's not worrisome, that's just what passes for plotting on this show. It's worrisome, because he's STARTS FIRES WITH HIS BARE HANDS and he could burn down the police station, the town, the world.

Nice, Comfy, PROTECTIVE ROCK: Oh, I get that. I just... the plotting thing, Jim. It ticks me off. I'll be watching a nice little episode like this one and thinking I've been too harsh on it, and then the writers abandon all efforts to connect the dots and just tell me they connect. I don't like it.

Stephanie: That's why you have The Vampire Diaries, Rocky. Don't worry. It'll be back Thursday, December 2, at 8:00 PM/7 Central on the CW.

JJ: Um, guys, there's story going on over here, too.

Nice, Comfy, PROTECTIVE ROCK: Yeah, but do you have to tell it?

Daphne: HA! No. I will. Now that the poker-bullies have switched their game, JJ is tanking, so he asks me to read their minds and give him a sign when they're bluffing. Pretty soon, he's raking in the chips. But then KATIE SHOWS UP AT THE HOUSE! She's with her boyfriend, so JJ and I rush to the door, and give them cherubic smiles and cheery voices, and Katie's totally falling for it, but her darned boyfriend suggests she should check inside, just in case. Killjoy.