Jim: George, why are you with me while I'm buying pre-anniversary roses for my bride?
George: I think the writers have decided I should suck.
Jim: Well, lately buddy? You do, so hear this: when Steph and I celebrate our 18th anniversary, nothing -- not the kids, not the lair, not criminals and not your pesky phone calls -- are going to screw it up.
George: Look, there go fire engines and police cars. You should go throw yourself into a towering inferno right before your anniversary, just to see if you're fireproof.
Jim: Up, up and away!
George: [to audience] What? He didn't say anything about fire.
Jim jumps into the burning building and saves a little boy. Our super dad is so super cool, even his clothes don't burn. Since this happens more than once in this episode, and I'm trying to stop flames from shooting out my ears, I'm fanwanking it thusly: super-sweat makes clothes fire retardant. Anyhow, after Jim hands the kids over to a firefighter and refuses medical assistance for himself, he notices a super-creep in the crowd. Since the show isn't one for suspense, I see no need to maintain a false sense of same. That creepy looking guy right there, that's our arsonist. He's a fire-starting super-villain, so we shall call him Sparkles.
At Global Tech:
Stephanie: So Katie, now Jim is flame-retardant.
Katie: That's good, since you're so smoking!
Stephanie: Your girl-crush wears on me, but it does provide me with the opportunity to impose upon you all the time.
Katie: It's a win-win situation. Or it was -- don't look now, but here comes Francis.
Francis: I'm here to provide dramatic tension. Will I actually get a look at your work and realize you're analyzing a tissue sample from your super-hubby, or will I just sneer and snivel?
Stephanie: Sneer, snivel and then slither out.
Bullies: Hey JJ, you 90-pound weakling, we shall call you a girl and put your books up high where you can't reach. Fear us. That is, provided, that Michael Oher isn't in this episode.
Michael Oher: MY NAME IS KENNY. AND NO, I'M NOT.
Bullies: Very well. Now we'll walk across the hall and talk about how we have to cancel our poker game.
JJ: Excellent! My parents are going out. Thank you for such a convenient opportunity to snooker you into financing my plan to buy a super-duper computer that can keep up with genius-me. I keep a pin-up of it in my locker, and sometimes when I look at it, I have to hold my books in front of my pants.