Recapper: Since this is not only the season finale, but most likely the series finale, we've brought in a very special guest-star to kick things off. You ready?
Henry V: Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more...
Recapper: Thank you, your majesty.
Audience: That's it?
Recapper: That's it.
Audience: How about a bit of the St. Crispin's Day speech, then?
Recapper: Sorry, loves. It's one thing to bring in slayers, witches and Michael Oher, but...
Michael Oher: MY NAME IS KENNY AND I'M A LITTLE VERKLEMPT THAT THIS IS THE FINALE AND I'VE NEVER RETURNED TO SCHOOL. HOW AM I GOING TO TAKE CARE OF MY BABY AND MY BABY MAMA WITHOUT A HIGH SCHOOL EDUCATION? WHAT KIND OF MESSAGE ARE THESE PEOPLE SENDING?
Recapper: There, there, Blind Side.
Audience: We want more Shakespeare!
Recapper: Sorry, it's not in the budget. You're going to have to put up with me one more time.
Audience: It's not just you, is it?
Recapper: Never fear, our characters are here.
Audience: Oh good, because those early weecaps were tedious. Speaking of, get a move on, wouldja? Don't you think we've all devoted more than enough time to this series?
Recapper: Indeed. Okay, Super Friends, who wants to start us off?
George: I've got this. Okay, so the show opens with a plane burning up as it plunges to its doom. Inside, the passengers pray for mercy, and guess what? I'm one of them!
Professor Dick: Can I go next? I promise I won't complain about my nickname.
Recapper: Sure thing, Dick. Proceed.
Professor Dick: I get all up in JJ's grill for not completing the "Academic Decathlon" equations for me.
JJ: And I call him on his b.s. and tell him to figure them out himself. And? To always "show [his] work," which feels awesome to say to a math teacher.
Professor Dick: Fine, skateboard away you little miscreant. I have to call this into Dr. RevCam King.
Dr. King: Cough. Couch. Cough. Threaten. Cough.
Meanwhile, at Global Tech...
Xena: You are so fired. Your feelings for Stephanie have clouded your judgment where JJ is concerned. If I had time, I'd wait for the twit your son knocked up to give birth so I could discover the secret of perma-powers, but I dislike babies and patience, so I'm moving on to Plan B. Muahahahaha.
Dr. King: Hey, "Muahahahahahaha," is my trademark.