No Ordinary Family

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: N/A | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Cross Your Heart. Hope to Die. Stick a Needle in Your Eye.
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Recapper: Since this is not only the season finale, but most likely the series finale, we've brought in a very special guest-star to kick things off. You ready?

Audience: Okay.

Henry V: Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more...

Recapper: Thank you, your majesty.

Audience: That's it?

Recapper: That's it.

Audience: How about a bit of the St. Crispin's Day speech, then?

Recapper: Sorry, loves. It's one thing to bring in slayers, witches and Michael Oher, but...

Michael Oher: MY NAME IS KENNY AND I'M A LITTLE VERKLEMPT THAT THIS IS THE FINALE AND I'VE NEVER RETURNED TO SCHOOL. HOW AM I GOING TO TAKE CARE OF MY BABY AND MY BABY MAMA WITHOUT A HIGH SCHOOL EDUCATION? WHAT KIND OF MESSAGE ARE THESE PEOPLE SENDING?

Recapper: There, there, Blind Side.

Audience: We want more Shakespeare!

Recapper: Sorry, it's not in the budget. You're going to have to put up with me one more time.

Audience: It's not just you, is it?

Recapper: Never fear, our characters are here.

Audience: Oh good, because those early weecaps were tedious. Speaking of, get a move on, wouldja? Don't you think we've all devoted more than enough time to this series?

Recapper: Indeed. Okay, Super Friends, who wants to start us off?

George: I've got this. Okay, so the show opens with a plane burning up as it plunges to its doom. Inside, the passengers pray for mercy, and guess what? I'm one of them!

Professor Dick: Can I go next? I promise I won't complain about my nickname.

Recapper: Sure thing, Dick. Proceed.

Professor Dick: I get all up in JJ's grill for not completing the "Academic Decathlon" equations for me.

JJ: And I call him on his b.s. and tell him to figure them out himself. And? To always "show [his] work," which feels awesome to say to a math teacher.

Professor Dick: Fine, skateboard away you little miscreant. I have to call this into Dr. RevCam King.

Dr. King: Cough. Couch. Cough. Threaten. Cough.

Meanwhile, at Global Tech...

Xena: You are so fired. Your feelings for Stephanie have clouded your judgment where JJ is concerned. If I had time, I'd wait for the twit your son knocked up to give birth so I could discover the secret of perma-powers, but I dislike babies and patience, so I'm moving on to Plan B. Muahahahaha.

Dr. King: Hey, "Muahahahahahaha," is my trademark.

Xena: Au contraire. It is the intellectual property of Evil Incorporated. I shall leave you, now. With your jobless state in this economy, you are no longer worthy to bask in my hotness.

Meanwhile, at the school...

Jim: I charge down the corridor, with JJ on my tail. I'm sick of Professor Dick harassing my kid. He had best remember he works for us and not the other way around.

Ghost of Professor Dick: I can't remember much any more, on account of being dead and all.

Meanwhile, at Katie's new place...

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No Ordinary Family

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