It seems Xena's name is Helen Burton, and with all apologies to the beauty from Troy and her namesakes, I was all like, "Helen? Really, Show?" So I did a web search on the name to see if there was some superhero connection I wasn't making, but Google gave me no love. Then I tried "Helen Burton comic books" and learned that "Helen Burton" is an alias of The Huntress. Thanks to my comic geeker friends, I've actually heard of her. Neat. But you're here for a recaplet, not my so-called web history, so let's get to it.
Xena (I don't care why she's Helen Burton, she's Xena) fires the Evil Dr. RevCam King, because she's even eviler. Either she or RevCam have some electrical super villain kill Professor Dick. Jim and JJ find the corpse, and later Jim and George take a mercifully short time figuring out that a super hero probably did the dirty deed. I appreciate the lack of dithering, because it's not like they're not going to get there eventually. Jim also figures out that whoever put the hit on Professor Dick is probably after JJ. He calls home to warn his family, but the power goes out and the line goes dead before he can get the words out. I guess Stephanie must have been on a cordless extension of the landline, but I'm not going back to check right now. Jim heads off to protect his family and George calls Stephanie's mobile phone, but she's too busy dealing with the blackout to notice. JJ goes out to check the circuit board -- no, I don't know why that would be outside, except that's where JJ needs to be, to be kidnapped by Electra-Man, who brings him to Xena. Xena wants JJ to figure out how the Powells' were permanently empowered, because she has 80 convicts she wants to set lose on the world for fun and profit, which still seems really dumb to me. Wouldn't she have more control over them if they were depending on her to refuel their powers?
Anyhow, the rest of the episode finds Jim, Stephanie and Daphne working in concert to break JJ out of Xena's super-containing facility. Dr. King poses as the Powells' ally, and he does help them a lot, until he intentionally shoots Jim (who, by that point, had been captured by Xena and given a shot of his kryptonite). King still wants Steph, so he's rather peeved that an alive Jim interrupts just as King is lying to Steph that he found Jim's corpse. There are struggles and zooping, and finally JJ takes King down for good, by throwing a hypodermic needle full of the antidote at him and hitting him RIGHT IN THE EYE. King has been on the trilsettum for eons, fighting off his fatal cancer. Once the antidote hits his system (RIGHT IN THE EYE -- I MENTIONED THAT PART, RIGHT?), King is instantly overcome by tumors and dies.
Meanwhile, Charlotte from Lost has been pretending to be Joshua and infiltrating Katie's life. George figures this out and tips off Katie. And in all the commotion at the super containment facility, the real Joshua is released by Dr. King. Since Joshua learned about Katie's pregnancy when he was sharing a cell with JJ, her place is his first stop, even though it seems she's moved, so I'm not sure how he knows where to go. He saves her from Charlotte-Joshua who resumes her normal form and walks out, once she realizes Joshua will always want Katie and never want her.
George follows Charlotte to her meeting with Xena. Xena puts her and the 80 convicts on a plane. One of her henchmen mistakes a lurking George for a convict, overpowers him and throws him on there as well. While held captive, JJ had revealed to Xena that the Powells' plane was full of trilsettum when the engine caught fire. The wonder plant burned up, and inhaling trilsettum-heavy smoke when the body is experiencing a natural adrenaline rush, causes the right doodads in the brain to open wide and suck in all the magical goodness, or something.
So, anyhow, Xena sees to it that the plane full of convicts (and George) will crash under the same circumstances, but the DP takes particular care to show George managing to get his oxygen mask on. Back in Pacific Bay, the Powells (who don't yet know George is missing) watch with interest as the news reports that neither corpses nor survivors were found after the plane crash. Cut to the island. All the convicts are morphing into horrible, super things. Will George turn? I am afraid we'll never know, unless this show gets picked up for a second season. If it does, please remind me to use "No Ordinary Miracle" as my headline for the second season premiere.
Speaking of miracles, Katie goes into labor after her struggle with Charlotte. And just like her pregnancy, her labor is accelerated. At first, the baby appears dead, but remember, the trilsettum bonded with his DNA. When they realize their super spawn is alive, Katie and Joshua rejoice, and apparently are back together, because now that he has no powers, it doesn't count that he was a stone cold killer, wiped her mind, Daphne's mind and otherwise sucked, right?
I'll be back tomorrow with the full weecap of "No Ordinary Beginning" so I'll put off my goodbyes for now. Until then, join us in the show thread, where we'll never stick a needle in your eye (but sometimes you might want to).
Recapper: Since this is not only the season finale, but most likely the series finale, we've brought in a very special guest-star to kick things off. You ready?
Henry V: Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more...
Recapper: Thank you, your majesty.
Audience: That's it?
Recapper: That's it.
Audience: How about a bit of the St. Crispin's Day speech, then?
Recapper: Sorry, loves. It's one thing to bring in slayers, witches and Michael Oher, but...
Michael Oher: MY NAME IS KENNY AND I'M A LITTLE VERKLEMPT THAT THIS IS THE FINALE AND I'VE NEVER RETURNED TO SCHOOL. HOW AM I GOING TO TAKE CARE OF MY BABY AND MY BABY MAMA WITHOUT A HIGH SCHOOL EDUCATION? WHAT KIND OF MESSAGE ARE THESE PEOPLE SENDING?
Recapper: There, there, Blind Side.
Audience: We want more Shakespeare!
Recapper: Sorry, it's not in the budget. You're going to have to put up with me one more time.
Audience: It's not just you, is it?
Recapper: Never fear, our characters are here.
Audience: Oh good, because those early weecaps were tedious. Speaking of, get a move on, wouldja? Don't you think we've all devoted more than enough time to this series?
Recapper: Indeed. Okay, Super Friends, who wants to start us off?
George: I've got this. Okay, so the show opens with a plane burning up as it plunges to its doom. Inside, the passengers pray for mercy, and guess what? I'm one of them!
Professor Dick: Can I go next? I promise I won't complain about my nickname.
Recapper: Sure thing, Dick. Proceed.
Professor Dick: I get all up in JJ's grill for not completing the "Academic Decathlon" equations for me.
JJ: And I call him on his b.s. and tell him to figure them out himself. And? To always "show [his] work," which feels awesome to say to a math teacher.
Professor Dick: Fine, skateboard away you little miscreant. I have to call this into Dr. RevCam King.
Dr. King: Cough. Couch. Cough. Threaten. Cough.
Meanwhile, at Global Tech...
Xena: You are so fired. Your feelings for Stephanie have clouded your judgment where JJ is concerned. If I had time, I'd wait for the twit your son knocked up to give birth so I could discover the secret of perma-powers, but I dislike babies and patience, so I'm moving on to Plan B. Muahahahaha.
Dr. King: Hey, "Muahahahahahaha," is my trademark.
Xena: Au contraire. It is the intellectual property of Evil Incorporated. I shall leave you, now. With your jobless state in this economy, you are no longer worthy to bask in my hotness.
Meanwhile, at the school...
Jim: I charge down the corridor, with JJ on my tail. I'm sick of Professor Dick harassing my kid. He had best remember he works for us and not the other way around.
Ghost of Professor Dick: I can't remember much any more, on account of being dead and all.
Meanwhile, at Katie's new place...