No Ordinary Family

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Cindy McLennan: B- | Grade It Now!
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Let Me Be Your Black Dude

Jim: You went through that a little more quickly than we usually do.

Recapper: And that's a bad thing because...?

Jim: Point taken, Rachel. Take us home.

Rachel: Okay, so Jim and I start arguing about his failure to follow proper police procedure and endangering us all. Davies gets so tired of us, he shoots Jim. Then he drags me to the van. But of course Jim is nearly invulnerable, so he gets up, stops Davies cold and rescues me. This guy is a real American hero. I can't bust him. I just can't figure out why he's not dead, at least not until he reveals he's wearing a Kevlar vest.

Recapper: You know, that pissed me off. Did he stop to put one on in case Rachel had questions?

Rachel: Shhhhh. I'm almost done. Anyhow, I tell Jim to beat it before the SWAT teams arrives. He saved my life. I can't bust him.

Recapper: But that doesn't explain what all the other people being held hostage must have realized when they saw Jim go talk to Davies in person, right after you were talking -- aloud, about how your rogue cop and the guy taking out Davies' men must be the same person. I mean -- this is a police station.

Jim: Here, have some decaf.

Recapper: Right? Okay. Kids, why don't you finish up your story.

Daphne: I've got this. So, we're in detention: JJ, Natalie, Bailey Beeyotch, Chris and yours truly. But you know, I shouldn't call Bailey Beeyotch, at least not this week, because the Queen Beeyotch is Natalie. She dumps my little brother, right in front of all of us, and not even in hushed tones, because he's "interfering with her school work."

Chris: It's pretty dire, man. I feel for the little dweeb despite his extreme Bieber hairdo, so we bust out like we're Bender and whatever Michael Anthony Hall's character's name is, in The Breakfast Club.

Recapper: Yes, it's exactly like The Breakfast Club, except for being smart and entertaining. Plus, all three girls are reminiscent of Molly Ringwald's Claire, and you really need some Pixie Stick-sucking Ally Sheedy in the mix.

Emilio Estevez: Ahem. Aren't you forgetting someone else who's missing.

Recapper: Nope.

Emilio Estevez: Is this because of that Mighty Ducks thing?

Recapper: Shoo.

Chris: So anyhow, I take little dude for a walk with me, mostly so he can impress his girl. But then we come back without anything exciting happening at all. When we get back though, that hot chick Bailey suggests a game of Truth or Dare. When it's Daphne's turn, she picks "dare" so Bailey dares her to kiss me.

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No Ordinary Family

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