No Ordinary Family

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Cindy McLennan: B- | Grade It Now!
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Let Me Be Your Black Dude

Daphne: And as I do, I see a flash of him being arrested, even though he just answered that he'd never been arrested, when he chose "truth."

JJ: And when it's my turn, Bailey tells me to share a secret. I consider telling them about my powers, but instead, I just decide to demonstrate them without copping to the fact that they're special. We're having detention in the science lab, because that's where anyone would lock up a bunch of kids without supervision, right? Oh, my word. Can I have coffee, too.

Jim: JJ, it'll stunt your growth, and you just can't afford that, son.

JJ: Milk, then?

Recapper: C'mon, Jim. The boy has just been humiliated by that girl. Cut the kid some slack. Chris can take it. He's still a newbie to the soul suck.

Jim: Fine. And you know what, JJ? You can even have chocolate milk.

JJ: Gee, dad, that's swell!

Chris: Heh. Okay, so JJ takes all these chemicals and mixes them to create an indoor snowfall and blathers on, much like his sister was during History class, about how he used to be flunking out but then a miracle happened. He tries to tie it back into that Natalie chick's inspiring snow in wherever that was, but that girl is Arctic. She's got some sob story about how she's a foster child and needs to do well in school, so she can't have the distraction of a boyfriend. Frigid, man. Just frigid. But you know who's not frigid?

Daphne: ME! After Professor Dick lets us out of detention, I pull Chris aside and tell him I know he was lying about never being arrested. He finally admits that one night he and his alcoholic father were out to eat. The father was too drunk to drive home, so Chris, who wasn't licensed, took the keys, and while he was trying to drive them home, he ended up driving them into a tree. His father was hurt and Chris got caught. Isn't that the dreamiest. Anyhow, he wants to know why I care about any of this, so I woman up and tell him: I like him. And then he kisses me! OMG, I am like totally freaking out.

Recapper: I know it's hard when you're crazy about a cute boy, but try to play it a little cool in front of him. Don't play games, but you know, maintain some semblance of reserve.

Bailey: Meanwhile, Natalie makes it clear that there is no chance between her and JJ, so I tell him not to let it get to him. I mean -- this kid is brilliant, he could be the next Bill Gates, and Natalie could end up being one of the girls who spurned Gates and is now repeatedly kicking herself in the tush. That won't be me, let me tell. So anyhow, I give the pipsqueak a kiss on the cheek, because I am clearly way hotter than Natalie anyhow.

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No Ordinary Family

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