Hey, welcome back to the seven who aren't me who are still watching this show. I hope you had a nice time over the holidays and mini-hiatus. Happy New Year. You'll notice I am not grading this episode. I don't know what to do with it, so I'm leaving it up to you. Click on that episode report card up top and let me know what you think.
Recapper: Okay kids, who wants to go first?
Daphne: Can I?
Recapper: Take it away, kid. I'm going to get a cup of coffee and see if I can stay awake.
Daphne: I don't blame you. So everybody, you'll remember that before Christmas, we left off with Katie's boyfriend terrorizing me and wiping my mind back to before the pilot.
Recapper: Right, 'cause I was jealous.
Daphne: Yeah, so it was scary and suspenseful and looked like maybe the show was finally cutting some teeth. SUCKERS! We resolve that plot point in the cold open. My parents and JJ show me their super-powers, then we all join hands and my telepathy fills in the blanks, and I'm all better.
Recapper: Okay, so they share their memories with you, but that doesn't fill in your own memories. I mean, what about conversations with friends, crushes, feelings, things you learned at school? Surely there are going to be consequences, right?
Daphne: This isn't The Vampire Diaries. Quit dreaming.
Recapper: Sorry, I had a little bit of Christmas cheer left in me. Don't worry, it's gone now, though. Well, at least this means you can't ruin the one remaining interesting development.
Daphne: There is one?
Recapper: (Shhhh. Yeah, you can't tell everyone about the Watcher "Joshua" -- how he attacked you, and how he has powers, too.)
Daphne: (Oh, right. I know nothing about that -- nothing at all.)
Recapper: Okay Jim, you're up.
Jim: Gotcha. So George fills me in on an art heist in town. He wants me to get involved because this is the sort of stuff that needs a superhero.
Recapper: George thinks a kitten up a tree needs a superhero.
Stephanie: I know, right?
Jim: Hey, you said it was my turn. Anyhow, after we part, I'm walking down the street, minding my own business, when I see this guy is about to get creamed by a bus, so clearly, he's going to be connected to the art theft. But that's not the important point. The important point is: IT'S LITTLE RICKY SCHRODER!
Little Ricky Schroder: Hey, would you drop the "Little Ricky" stuff? I'm nearly 41 years old, a father of four, and have been married for 18 years. I hate when people call me Ricky, which I've made quite clear, at least since my NYPD Blue days. Besides, my character's name in this show is Dave Cotten.