No Ordinary Family

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This Cotton Picking Show

Recapper: Actually, it's Cotton.

Little Ricky Schroder: But imdb.com and the closed-captioning both used Cotten -- so did your recaplet.

Recapper: Yeah, but I've since checked ABC's show page, and they have Cotton, so I'm changing it.

Little Ricky Schroder: Fine, just don't call me Ricky, m'kay?

Recapper: Whatever you say, little Ricky Schroder. Jim, continue, please.

Jim: So yeah, I dart out into the street, and save little Ricky Schroder's life and he's all grateful and stuff. He insists on learning my name so he can tell his wife who saved him, so I reluctantly introduce myself, and eventually, we go our separate ways.

Meanwhile, at Global Tech...

Katie: So, I tell Stephanie I think I'm in love with Joshua, 'cause I totally think I am. But I'm scared, you know, because I've never... well, you know, I've never.

Stephanie: She means she's a virgin.

Daphne: This is my verse, hello!

Recapper: Scoot, kid, You're not in this scene and don't worry, you'll be the only one wearing the chastity belt by episode's end.

Katie: HEY, NO SPOILERS! (Really? OMG. I have to go home and shave!)

Later, at the Powell Pad...

Jim: So, remember that guy I saved -- Little Ricky Schroder?

Little Ricky Schroder: Can we at least stay in character? I mean, you don't see me calling you the Commish.

Jim: He has a point.

Recapper: Fine, call him Dave, if you must, but I'm making no promises.

Jim: All right, so...Dave and his whole family -- wife Michelle, daughter Chloe, and son Troy -- they all show up at my house to thank me for saving Dave's life. And then they invite us to a cookout. I really think we should shy away from getting involved with someone I save...

Stephanie: But I am so eager for Jim to make a friend who isn't George, and to hang with other families who aren't loathsome to us, that I interrupt and accept the invitation.

George: And then later, I call Jim, because there's another art heist in progress, which I know because I have access to the same sort of equipment the police have, but of course, Jim is going to beat the police to the scene and confront the crook, because he's an excellent jumper.

Jim: Up, up and away!

At the museum...

Jim: I make may way into the museum with no problems, and this time, I'm wearing one of those black ski masks that covers my face. I tell the crook to drop the goods, but he sets off some sort of pyrotechnics right in my face, and even though I can stop a speeding bullet, I just stand there like a dope while the room fills with smoke and the thief makes away with the precious canvases.

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No Ordinary Family

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