Katie: Recapper, that would never happen on this show.
Daphne: Hey, you know JJ and I still have some more story. Can I pull a Katie and blurt it all out?
Recapper: Why the heck not.
Daphne: Well, Chloe is actually pretty fricking awesome. In addition to standing up to Bailey, she talks me into running for student body president. Bailey makes her predictable It's All About Me speech and then I give a pretty good speech, layered with telepathy subtext about how I know what everyone cares about and I know what they think and want.
Giles: The subtext is rapidly becoming text.
Daphne: Who's that old dude?
Giles: I beg your par--
Recapper: Um...pay no attention to him. He's just your substitute librarian. Go on.
Daphne: So anyhow, I get a huge round of applause. Looks like I'm going to finally beat beeyotch at something. Hooray!
Recapper: Yeah, good job, kid. Now JJ, you go, quickly.
JJ: Okay. I find Natalie at school and apologize for being so jealous and violent, and she's totally turned on by it and gives me a kiss. Then Troy comes up and says he meant for it to all go down like that. And call me stupid, but I think he kind of did.
Recapper: I know that's what we're supposed to think, and since we'll probably never see Troy again, I'm fine with that, but if this were real life or a good show, I wouldn't buy it.
Katie: Let's get going, I have a date coming, if you know what I mean.
Recapper: Please stop that.
Katie: Okay, sorry. I'm just nervous and excited. So anyhow, Michelle survives. Dave talks to Jim. He can't believe he didn't know what was going on. Jim's all philosophical about how everyone has secrets, and we'll probably never see Little Ricky Schroder again, so I don't know why their friendship needs this denouement. But here comes the best part, so I'm starting a new paragraph...
Joshua comes to my place. He apologizes for freaking when I told him I was a virgin. He wanted to make sure we were making the right decision, and now he knows it's right. He takes me in his arms and oh, my word, I'm nothing but a puddle. Later, he falls asleep, so I guess that stereotype about guys is kinda true. I get up and start picking up our clothes from the floor, because we were in a hurry to get them off, but I don't just want to leave my room a mess like that. When I pick up his things, I smell them and oh, I'm a puddle again. But then Stephanie's little red notebook slips out of his pocket. Once I realize what it is, my puddle freezes to dry ice. OMG. I'm so broken-hearted.