Mrs. Volson: Um?
Stephanie: I came to tell you exactly what the Widow Volson just told you, so really, this scene is pointless.
RevCam: You just think it is. My Watcher is hiding behind the corner and I'm going to give him a picture of you and your family and tell him to keep an eye on you, because the rest of you people can't kick a plot in the arse to save your life, or our jobs.
Stephanie: You're the best boss! I really like this gig, but I know we're headed for cancellation if things don't change.
RevCam: Cancellation schmancellation. I've come back after a purported series finale. When you're as good-looking as we are, kid, the rules are different.
Stephanie: I know, but have you seen Jim?
RevCam: Good point. Run along now, I still have a lot more work to do if this show is going to get as interesting as my character is.
The Watcher: Sometimes, I like to watch.
RevCam: Well, here's a picture of the Powell family; watch them. You ever seen 'em?
The Watcher: Well, I stalk Jim all the time, but I'm not going to tell you that, because maybe I'm a secretly working against you. Maybe I'm even good.
RevCam: You kill people with your mind.
The Watcher: Bad people -- like My-Name-Is-Luka.
The Audience: And Detective Cho!
The Watcher: Oh, right. My bad. Well at least we can agree I'm intriguing.
RevCam: Yes you are, as am I. This show is damn lucky we're here. But tell me, son, what's up with the name Luka, lately? Seriously, that's the second Luka on TV in a five-day span. Is there some writers bar where they all hang out?
The Watcher: If there is, we can only hope our writers drink less and hang with the Vampire Diaries writers more.
RevCam: Team Stefan or Team Damon?
The Watcher: If I told you, I'd no longer be intriguing. But hey, I gotta run. I've got a date.
Katie: I am the cutest girl in the world, and yet here I sit all alone, because my cyber honey is standing me up.
JJ: I am across the road, because I'm a scrawny little kid, yo, and even I'm not brilliant enough to figure out how to make a girl like you interested in me.
Katie: Thank goodness, because that would be a little too Mary Kay Letourneau for me, Villi.