Stephanie: Right, and after we're done with Anthony Michael Hall, I tell Jim what I've learned.
Jim: I am outraged. That's my little girl he's violated. I want to punch the shit out of him, but instead, I just wreck all the walls in Katie's house.
Katie: Which...hello? Aren't I in enough pain, realizing how badly I've been duped by the man to whom I gave my heart and my cherry, too?
Joshua: But I love you, baby. I was just trying to keep everyone safe. Knowledge is a dangerous thing.
Jim: You know what else is dangerous? My fist and I'm going to drive it right through your skull, this very moment.
Joshua: Oh God, I suck. Do it. Do it. Do it.
Katie: No. Let me hurt him. I can do it better.
Recapper: Go, Katie! Go, Katie! Go, Katie!
Katie: Here. Take your ring back. You've been lying since we met. I never want anything to do with you ever again. I don't love you. I don't love you. I don't love you.
Recapper: [Feels conflicted.]
Joshua: [Dies inside. Hops a bus out of town. Waits for tender Sarah McLachlan music that never comes. Can't even float the ring anymore.]
King: There's still more me, though! The next day at school, JJ solves some ginormous, complex equation for little Bitchfield over there.
Michael Oher: MY NAME IS KENNY AND HIS NAME IS LITCHFIELD.
King: Whatever, Blind Side. Later, Bitchfield reports back to me. I give him a wad of cash as his reward.
Bitchfield: HEY MY NAME IS... Oh, never mind. I want to know why King needed JJ -- specifically -- to do the math, so when I ask, he muahahahahahas at me and shuts the door in my face. Do you think I'll end up on his team, or turn myself around and help the Powells.
Recapper: I... can't pretend to care. Okee dokee artichokees. That's it for this week--
Jim: No it isn't. You've forgotten about Jasper.
Recapper: Well, I tried. Go ahead Jim, you tell it. I can't bear the thought.
Jim: So, remember how I've been feeling guilty all episode because one of the bullets I deflected pierced this kid's gut? Well, I go back to the hospital and his mother tells me that during surgery to remove the bullet, the doctors found a tumor so small, they never would have known about it until it was too late. So once again, I am footloose and consequence-free! Aren't you so proud of me?