First of all, a big thanks to the lovely and talented M. Giant for covering for me last week. Thank you, M. Giant! I was weak and shaky, even though I wasn't withdrawing from Dr. RevCam's secret serum. I really needed to veg out. Your weecap is so good, I have stage fright coming back, so I'm just going to rip off the bandage and go for it.
The story opens with Jim chasing down some random crook. The important thing, to me, is that he's wearing a Boston Red Sox baseball cap. Pitchers and catchers just reported to Fort Myers last week, y'all. I can smell Spring in the air, even though, back in Boston, it's currently colder than a witch's... (oh, I only know a dirty saying for that, and this is a family show, never mind). Michael Chiklis is a Boston boy, as is this week's guest, Anthony Michael Hall. And Chiklis really looks like any guy you'd see wandering the Fenway with his cap and sunglasses. For that matter, Anthony Michael hall looks like a guy you'd see in Charlestown, punching holes in ATMs. I'm sorry. You're not looking to read a Beantown Broadsheet, are you?
Anyhow, when Jim corners Random Thug in an alley, Random Thug shoots at Jim. Jim deflects the bullets, one ricochets straight through a window and wounds a young guy, Jasper, in the gut. Jim beats up Random, tells George (over the BlueTooth) to call the cops (but if the cops don't already know, how does George... oh never mind, this is a recaplet) and then hears Jasper's mom crying and screaming for help. He realizes he's technically at fault for Jasper being wounded, but don't worry. It'll all be wrapped up with the neatest bow ever, by hour's end.
Meanwhile, Joshua proposes to Katie, and it's adorable, but not cloying, because this can't end well. Oh, poor Katie. They're going to make you cry, baby. Jim and Stephanie host an engagement party. Steph has to invite Dr. RevCam King. He and Joshua get up in each other's grills. Someone steals a vial of secret serum that Stephanie has hidden away in her bedroom, after hearing Jim ask Stephanie to administer it to Jasper. The thief is Daphne's good bad boy, Chris Minor. He steals it to heal his father (Anthony Michael Hall), who, you'll recall, was paralyzed in a car accident, when Chris was at the wheel. Dad gets healed all right, and is back to his drunk, abusive, criminal stuff, but now he has super-strength like Jim, and he's bigger and stronger, so Jim has to learn how to bob and weave from George, so that he can outlast Mr. Minor. He does, of course.
Also, Dr. RevCam King shows his Joshua-dossier to Stephanie and tells her that Josh can erase people's memories. Stephanie recalls Daphne's amnesia from a few episodes and Jim hunts him down. He wants to hurt him, but Katie says she can hurt him more. And she can. She gives him back the ring and tells him she doesn't love him. He rides out of town on a bus, like he's Buffy right after she killed Angel, but I'm sorry Joshua. Sarah McLachlan will not be singing "Full of Grace" for you, even though winter here is cold, and bitter.... Oops. I'm getting all Boston-centric again. I'll stop now.
At the episode's end two things happen, the first of which makes my eyes roll back in my head, so please excuse any typos. Jim has been keeping tabs on Jasper's recovery. At the end of the hour, Jasper's mom tells Jim that not only did the doctors successfully remove the bullet -- during the surgery, they also found a tumor so small that they never would have known about it until it was too late, so Jim's careless bullet deflection saved Jasper's life, because there are no consequences, you silly geese. The second thing that happens has the potential to be intriguing. It seems Dr. RevCam King has brought Professor Dick on, as some kind of spy, and used him to gain proof that JJ is a super-genius, by making JJ solve some complicated equation. King hands Dick a wad of cash at episode's end, but no answers. Will Dick keep coming back for more, or will he find the ounce of decency lingering in his angry, shriveled heart? Do we care? Should we?
JJ: Hey, what about my story with Natalie? Why aren't you telling them about that?
Recapper: This is just the recaplet. Scram, kiddo. I've got to leave something to make people want to come back.
JJ: But she said I'm cute. I'm cute. I'm cute!
Recapper: Whatever, Rudolph.
Michael Oher: MY NAME IS KENNY AND HIS NAME IS JJ, BUT I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE WITH THE "I'M CUTE" AND THE RUDOLPH, SO CARRY ON!
Okee dokee artichokees. I'll be back tomorrow with the weecap. In the meantime, please grade the episode up top, and come join the discussion down in our show thread, where I hardly ever talk about Boston.
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I already mentioned this in the recaplet, but still, I want to thank the lovely and talented M. Giant for covering for me last week. Thank you, M. Giant! You give good weecap. I keep trying to choose a favorite from the names you came up with for the character doubles. It was neck and neck for a while, but in the end, I think Sim edges out the rest, although it only beats Forge by a nose.
Jim: Hey, what was up with last week? We thought you quit.
Recapper: Well, I pretended I did, but only to make myself feel better. I was sick -- weak and shaky.
Joshua: You coming off the secret serum, too?
Recapper: No, but you know, that is how it felt.
Joshua: You think I don't read the recaplets?
Recapper: Aw. Don't be so nice to me, I already feel really conflicted about you, Joshua.
Katie: This is my verse, hello!
Stephanie: I think what Katie's trying to say there is that this is a particularly painful episode for her, and you have not left yourself much time to cover it, so can you get with the zooping?
Recapper: Actually, what Katie is saying there -- doing there -- is quoting a line from the Buffy the Vampire Slayer musical episode, but point taken.
George: We should do a musical episode.
Recapper: The Lord is my shepherd. I DO NOT WANT...
Daphne: Guys, stop scaring her. Let's get this show on the road. It features my boyfriend, a lot, so I really like it.
Chris: (I'm not saying anything, but I'm thinking a lot of things right now).
Daphne: I know, Chris.
Recapper: Okay, who wants to start?
Jim: I've got this. So, I'm chasing down some Random Thug. When I corner him in an alley, he starts shooting at me, but I'm bullet proof...
George: Really, you're more bullet resistant.
[Editor: Except in the back of the head.]
Jim: Whatever. So the bullets are bouncing right off me, and one ricochets right through a window and into some kid's gut. His name is Jasper, which I find out after I disable Random Thug, because I hear Jasper's mother screaming his name and crying for help. Oh my God. Everything is all my fault. I go to the hospital later, posing as one of the EMTs who brought him in and check in with Jasper's mom. The guilt is killing me.