Chris: Yeah, but then my father gets so nasty, I'm all like, "Eff him, I'm going to the party." Which I guess is now? This timing seems weird.
Recapper: You forgot the most important part.
Chris: I did?
Recapper: Yeah. Your father is played by Boston homeboy Anthony Michael Hall of The Breakfast Club and general Brat Pack fame.
Jim: Oh, wow, that is him. How the hell is he bigger than me?
Recapper: In the show thread, MarkHB suggests the regimen involves steroids wrapped in bacon. I'ma go with that.
Recapper's Kids: Mmmmmmmmm BACON. Mommy, we want BACON. We want BACON now. BACON BACON BACON.
Recapper: Kids, begging for bacon while I'm working is not kosher.
Recapper's Kids: Groan
JJ: You know puns are the lowest form of humor, right?
Recapper: You know the writing-- sorry. Let's just get back to the story.
Stephanie: You don't have time for this. I'm taking the reins. So we have the engagement party. During it, Jim pulls me aside to discuss Jasper's gunshot wound. He wants me to administer some secret serum to the kid, so he'll heal, but we can't interfere like that. Unbeknownst to us, Chris is lurking in the hallway, hears the whole thing and later, once we've left our bedroom, the little bugger sneaks in and steals the hypo full of serum that I have in my nightstand, and there's some whole really, really poor explanation for why I'd have it there. I respect you too much to repeat it.
Recapper: Bless. I'd just like to point out that the audience can tell someone is lurking, but we don't know it's Chris. Okay, we actually do, I mean, the show doesn't reveal that he's the thief for a while, but when they bring in a big name like Anthony Michael Hall to play the drunken, abusive father that Chris crippled, It's obvious.
Katie: Right, but what isn't?
Recapper: (Oh man. I can't even look her in the eye right now.)
Joshua: (Word. Oh God, I suck. Someone shoot me.)
Stephanie: When I find out the serum is missing, I first accuse Joshua, but it's not him. He really wants to leave all this super power stuff behind.
Joshua: And how. But eventually, when Stephanie gives me the antidote, it is a failure of epic proportions. My telekinesis doesn't wear off. Instead, it goes haywire right there in the lab. Glass explodes. The whole place shakes. I'm never going to be normal, am I? God, I suck. Someone shoot me.