No Ordinary Family

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No Ordinary Hand Job

The Powells are in the TV equivalent of Walmart, which is apt, because this show which showed so much promise is turning into the Walmart equivalent of a series. While Daphne helps Stephanie choose her umpteenth pair of running shoes, and Jim fits JJ for football cleats, an earthquake strikes. Once the dust settles, the Powells realize a clerk is stuck beneath a pile of rubble. Jim moves to pull it off her, but JJ does some insta-engineering and realizes dear old Dad will just make things worse if he doesn't attack the problem in the right way. After some magical math, he figures out which piece Jim should pull out first, and voila, the pile falls down and away from the poor, trapped clerk. Everyone is happy, except for Stephanie who FINALLY realizes JJ is probably hiding some newbilities of his own. Back home, Stephanie discusses her concerns with Jim, but he trusts the boy. The next morning though, Steph tells JJ he has to pee in a cup -- allegedly to serve as her control for the tests she's running on the super-powered members of the family. JJ is now too smart to fall for that, so he essentially pleads shy bladder and runs off to school, promising to drop off his sample at Global Tech, later.

D.A.'s Office: George works a You Keep Me Informed; I Keep You Caffeinated play on a pretty redhead at work, but not just because she's a pretty redhead. She's his source on the inside. The person who knows what's what. No, since he's an A.D.A., I don't get the point of this, either. At any rate, he learns from Ginger that the earthquake wasn't actually an earthquake at all.

Global Tech: Dr. RevCam King is chatting up Steph about a reception honoring her work, when The Watcher calls him to talk about a "sector 7 breach" whatever that means. King is freaked, noting they're dealing with a deadly weapon that needs to be contained. Meanwhile, Katie is working on Dr. Volson's research, in hopes that she'll find insight into the Powells' newbilities. Volson's files are still encrypted, so Katie's trying to break the code. Stephanie then tells Katie her suspicions about JJ.

Daphne and Megan head across town to apply for a job at a cafe, and run into their friend Olivia, who is with Detective Leo from Veronica Mars. Only here, Detective Leo is pretending to be their English teacher, Mr. Robbins. You can't fool me and Veronica, Leo! You always liked the high school girls. Daphne reads his mind as Leo thinks that he's screwed for meeting with Olivia in public. Once the girls are alone, Megan tells Daphne that she's sure Mr. Robbins and Olivia are totally doing it. Daphne tries to remain in denial.

George tells Jim the earthquake wasn't real; it was caused by a concussion grenade. Don't ask me to explain that. The important part is that during the quake, thousands of dollars worth of meds were stolen from the Not-Mart pharmacy. Soon thereafter, Detective Cordero bursts through the precinct telling the troops another pharmacy has been hit. Title card.

School: JJ tells Michael Oher that his parents think he's doping, and he's afraid his asthma medication will produce a false positive when they have his urine analyzed, so Oher gets him some pee. Meanwhile, in the girls' locker room, Megan sets up Olivia, in order to get the dirt on her and Professor Perv. Daphne is there, of course, so she hears Olivia think "You so don't get it." As Megan pries more, Olivia tells them that if they think something is going on between her and Mr. Robbins, they could not be any more wrong.

Precinct: Detective Cordero tells Jim the concussion grenade took out the pharmacist, but they've got the incident on tape. Later with George, Jim says he has to get hold of that tape. George thinks Jim could break into the evidence locker, and suggests Steph could help. Jim disagrees at the time, but eventually goes to Steph for her help. Steph's first response is: "Absolutely not. Just because you've decided to clean up the city doesn't make crime fighting the family business." George scares Steph by noting Jim's powers were caught on tape, so if they don't get that tape, Jim could end up at some government research facility. Steph is peeved, but agrees to help this one time. After that, the boys are on their own. Once she's gone, Jim glares at George, who says, "Just because you won't lie to your wife doesn't mean I can't. What's she going to do -- make me sleep on the couch? We've got it."

Global Tech; JJ brings his pee to Katie. When she takes it to the lab, he screws with her computer, and magi-mathically decrypts the files, making sense of Volson's analysis.

Precinct: Jim goes to the evidence locker and forces open the door while pretending to get a drink, and chatting up the officer on duty. Stephanie then sneaks in for him. Once the deed is done, Jim catches up with Steph who hands over the evidence, but tells him that from now on, he's on his own. And either she's repeating herself, or I am. I am so bored it's hard to tell.

Lair: George and Jim watch the tape and see a perp heading to the pharmacy. They've found their guy -- it's a girl, which they treat as SHOCKING. Blergh. She's not setting off concussion grenades. She's using magic hands to get the job done. Oh wait, I don't think we learn that until later. To hell with it. Why should I take more care with this than the writers do with these plots?

Powell Pad: Jim rounds the kids up for school, but Daph lingers behind to talk to Mom. She wants to know what to do if Olivia is sleeping with Mr. Robbins. Steph says, "We didn't ask for these powers, but we've got them. We have to do what's right. [...] It's a very serious allegation. Be absolutely certain." Oh Steph, what teen isn't certain, even when wrong?

Precinct: George and Jim learn that the perp, Rebecca Jessup, has a record -- for writing bad checks. And the drugs she's been stealing aren't drugs that get you high; they're anti-epileptics.

Global Tech: Katie calls JJ out for solving the algorithm. Since he cracked an encrypted file in seconds, she knows he has newbilities. "You're a genius too, aren't you?" Yes he is, genius. She just doesn't understand why he'd lie to his folks. Before they can get too far into it, Steph returns, greets JJ (who lies that Katie is tutoring him in math). Steph thanks Katie for cracking the code and praises her to the high heaven. Once she's alone with JJ again, Katie tells him she will cover for him for now, but he'll have to 'fess up soon. She also has some news for him. His test results are normal, except for one thing. "JJ, you're pregnant." I'd laugh, but as soon as Michael Oher gave JJ a nameless, faceless friend's pee, rather than his own, this was inevitable.

School: Daphne goes to see Detective Leo Mr. Robbins and asks why he and Olivia were meeting alone, together. Leo swears he'd never get involved with a student. Daphne believes him until she hears him think, "I thought all this lying would end when I stopped sleeping with her." Leo then tells Daphne, "You have my word." Daphne, visibly shaken, tells him she'll see him next class.

Powell Pad: Steph tells Jim that per the labs, JJ is normal. Jim is relieved but Steph doesn't buy it. He's not the same boy he was, before their trip. She doesn't want to be right, but she's pretty sure she is. Their argument is interrupted when George calls. There's a robbery in progress. Jim says they should let the cops deal. But George explains it's another pharmacy and no one else can do it; it's another grenade in progress. "You can get to her before cops can." Jim up up and aways and crashes down with his usual lack of grace, stalks the perp, and then stops her. She warns him off, but he promises not to hurt her. She's a super too, and when Jim gets too close, she gives him the mother of all hand jobs. The earth moves. For real. Jim resists her mojo for a long time, but finally, Rebecca uses her power to throw him across the park and into a building. Commercial.

Lair: George tends to Jim's wounds as they rehash Re

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No Ordinary Family

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