True confession: every time I see this episode's title, I first read it as: "No Ordinary Vagina." I don't know how or why. I'm not that girl. But it happens every single time. I have to shake my head and blink my eyes before I see "Vigilante," which has been staring at me all the while. And thank goodness for that. While I might cheer on a vigilante vagina under the appropriate circumstances, I do not want to see one in action. Speaking of action, let's get to the story, yeah? Okay.
Night; Exterior: Jim patrols Franklin Park. Back in the lair, George describes the park as "The only place in the city where you can get poison ivy, crack and sexually assaulted, all at the same time." So like an open-air mall, then. Over the Bluetooth, George asks how the "costume" is working out. Jim pooh-poohs the "costume" notion. He's only wearing the black hoodie, and not the $37.00 real-hair mustache that George gave him. Well played, Jim. When the guys' ensuing secret-identity argument is interrupted by a screaming woman, Jim up-up-and-aways over the trees and to her rescue. He hollers at her mugger to leave her alone, so the mugger turns his gun on Jim, which maybe should be a tense moment, but isn't, since we all know Jim is relatively bullet resistant. Apparently, the mugger is not. Someone shoots at him from the tree line and he's down. Now Jim has to decide between rescuing the bleeding mugger, or pursuing the vigilante. He needs more of a Scooby Gang, so he doesn't have to choose. No surprise, he rushes the mugger to the hospital, dumps him in a wheelchair waiting by the entry, and pins a note to his chest: "Save me -- then arrest me! I mugged a lady in Franklin Park." Don't worry, nobody will run a finger print analysis on the note. It will be forgotten as quickly as the poor mugging victim, who has probably died of a coronary in lonely, dark Franklin Park. Hey, how else are they going to keep her from placing Jim at the scene?
Powell Pad; Morning: Stephanie super-speeds through kitchen clean-up, which bugs me. Maybe it's because she's in such a small space. Maybe it's because she lives with three other able-bodied people who could empty the fricking dishwasher since Mommy has to go to work. Maybe it's because I'm just jealous. Jim announces he and JJ are going camping, and they make plans to go shopping for gear. Their conversation is interrupted by a news report of the mugging. JJ gets all excited thinking dad was the vigilante mentioned on the news. Jim denies it, since he didn't shoot anyone. When he's alone, Steph gives him crap for lying but he maintains he wasn't lying since he didn't shoot anyone. Stephanie doesn't want him to worry the kids and she doesn't want them emulating him, so she sneers that at least, he ought to try to stay off the news.