Episode Report Card
admin: B+ | 2 USERS: A+
Friendly Fire

Juliet's still sobbing in the morgue. Footsteps approach, and someone says, "Tissue?" and lays down a little Kleenex pocket pack in front of her. "Thanks," says Juliet, glancing up, and we see that the Kleenex-profferer is Ethan, dressed smartly in shirt and tie, which is the nicest we've ever seen him (although he does look an awful lot heavier than he did before Charlie killed him -- island life must have been good for him). Juliet wipes her nose and looks at Ethan again, who is still staring at her. "Have we met?" she says, not remembering that she saw him at her sister's hospice or wherever she was.

Ethan doesn't answer, but Alpert strolls up and says hello. Juliet's surprised to see him here. But sadly not surprised enough to be more freaked out than she is. "I'm so sorry for your loss," he says. She asks what he's doing here. "I saw what happened on the news, and your office said you were down here." Red flag, Juliet! Red flag! He says he wanted to express his condolences in person before going back to Portland. Then he introduces Ethan, one of his "colleagues." Ethan takes a break from staring at her like he's Randy from My Name Is Earl to say it's a pleasure to meet her.

Juliet's getting freaked out, I think. "He was hit by a bus," she says, and Alpert soothingly says he heard she was there when it happened, but that's not Juliet's point: "No! No. In our interview, I said... I said that I wanted him to get hit by a bus." So what's her problem, then? She got what she wanted! Alpert says she's a little shook up right now, but this is just a tragic accident. "You can't blame yourself. I don't even remember you saying that." Really? You don't remember being turned down by Juliet because her ex-husband won't let her go and that she wished he'd get hit by a bus? Red flag! She wants to know why he's here. He acknowledges that the timing is horrible, but they're that serious about getting her to come work for them. "Just give us six months. If you need to, you can be back before your sister gives birth." Juliet's surprised that they know about her sister, but Alpert says they're very "thorough" in their recruitment process. Damn. They should be screening job applicants at CTU. Instead of saying, "Okay, this is highly inappropriate, and more than a little creepy, and possibly homicidal as well, so you need to LEAVE NOW," Juliet asks if her sister can come. "Won't work," says Alpert. "We're pretty remote. She wouldn't have access to the treatment that she needs." Juliet's all, "whuh? I thought you said this was in Portland, not Kabul?" "Well, actually we're not quite in Portland," says Alpert, and he and Ethan both half-smile at her. RUN AWAY RUN AWAY RUN AWAY Juliet!

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