Episode Report Card
admin: B+ | 2 USERS: A+
Friendly Fire

Dr. Alpert says "Mind if I ask you something?" even though that's what he just did, and he changes the slides to X-rays -- well, not X-rays, but some sort of medical photos that pique Juliet's interest. Alpert asks what she sees, and Juliet stands up and moves over right in front of them. "Well, that's a human womb, obviously. Judging from the decomposition of the endometrium, I would say that the woman was somewhere in her seventies." I was just about to say the same thing! Alpert says the woman is actually 26, surprising Juliet, who wants to know what happened to her. "What if I told you that you could have complete freedom and money to find out? We think you're special, Dr. Burke. And we want you to lead a team of highly trained people because we think you're just that good." Don't believe him! That's the same pitch Sars and Wing Chun give prospective recappers! Then you get Bachelorettes in Alaska!

Anyway, Juliet then starts burbling about how she can't do it, because her ex-husband won't let her, and then there's a weird exchange in which Alpert suggests Mittelos "reach out" to him on her behalf. "There must be something that he would respond to," he says. "If he were hit by a bus. How about that? That would work," she says, and she's practically crying at this point, and she at least admits that this is totally inappropriate, and Alpert tries to play it down, and she apologizes for wasting his time. "Whatever you think I am, I'm not. I'm not a leader, Mr. Alpert. I'm a mess," she says, gathering her things and leaving.

Contrast that blubbering mess with a very focused, very determined Juliet stomping through Hydra station. She checks the bank of surveillance monitors, and quickly finds Sawyer and Kate and -- this seems to be a bit of a surprise for her -- Alex as well. "Oh, hell," she says.

Kate, Sawyer, and Alex skulk in the bushes outside a building, being guarded by an Other who's so committed to his sentry duty that he's reading a well-worn copy of A Brief History of Time. "Carl's got to be in there," says Alex, and Sawyer -- you're never going to believe this -- sounds all pissed off that she's not sure. Alex says it's the only place she hasn't looked. Turns out Alex knows the guard, and his name is Aldo. "Okay, Lollipop," says Sawyer, "you want to tell me how we're going to get by him with one gun and no bullets?" Dude, did you see her with that slingshot? Kate says she has an idea, and Sawyer says, "Of course you do," and maybe he could JUST ONCE not sound like an asshole when he opens his mouth?

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