Does everyone understand that the brain of Michael Wiseman has been rescued from a fatal accident and placed into the top-secret artificial body of Michael Newman? And that, "under penalty of death," he has to never ever speak to his wife and daughter again? Or supposedly someone will kill him? Yes? Good. So CBS, this is your cue to STOP showing the same freaking bit of film over and over again.
"Before," on Now and Again an arrogant handsome guy looks at a house with -- and for love from -- Lisa, and asks her out on a date. She's into it.
The setting: A dark, sleek restaurant, candle-lit and intimate. At a table are Lisa and the Handsome Arrogant Guy. He's looking at photos of houses and trotting out his catalogue of appreciative groans and grunts. Maybe he's practicing for later. "Mmm...ah...old! I like old." Lisa says, "I've got lots of old." That makes no sense, but I can guess they're talking about houses and not doing it -- yet. The HAG looks at more photos, which we don't get to see. "Mmm. Not for me. Ooh, not for me. So, tell me about your husband. He must be one well-adjusted fella. And this one can't look as good as it does in the picture." There's a long pause, and then the HAG says, "You're not answering my question." Lisa pauses some more for "dramatic effect," and says "I don't know about this property." See what she just did? She avoided the question! HAG says, "This game isn't going to work if you force me to play it by myself." Hey, no one will ever force you to play with yourself, HAG! That's for you to do at your own discretion. Lisa says she's a widow. HAG says, "Oh...ahh..I saw the ring, so jerks like me will know whether to pick you up." Isn't "I'm sorry" an acceptable response to what Lisa said? I thought so. Lisa asks, "You thought I was married?" Well, you do wear the ring! Then HAG slides into unctuous-n-oily mode and says, "I like married women. I've had great luck with married women. Married women with a little bit of itch. They just want to hook up with someone, uh..." and he shoots Lisa a look. Lisa swallows her bile and says, "I have to go...wash. I have to go wash with a wire brush."
Cut to the street where Lisa is high-tailing it away from the HAG. "Lisa! I still wanna buy a house!" Lisa shoots back, "Blow it out your..."
Theme song! "Now and Again! Unh! We only want what we can't have, and what we can't have, ya dig.."
After the ads, including one for the miniseries about the as-yet-unsolved murder of JonBenet Ramsey starring Ann-Margaret and Kris Kristofferson (VCR alert! Just kidding.), the scene is set in Washington Square Park. It's too bad that this totally uncool show is shot on location in New York. Can't they have given another city publicity instead? Rudy Giuliani must be a fan of lame CBS shows or something. Anyway, Artificial Guy and Dr. M.astermind are sitting (in a tree!) on a park bench. You can see their breath. A.G. is staring at the pigeons because "he's jealous of them." Pigeons get to eat breadcrumbs. And they're probably universally despised less than this show is. Dr. M. is waiting to talk to someone. Right on cue, someone walks up and Dr. M. gets off the bench to face him, like a ho-hum showdown in the CBS Corral. POTUS wants to talk to Dr. M. "POTUS wants to talk to me? For how long?" "Well, it's POTUS -- ten minutes, tops." A.G. whines, "But mom said you couldn't play with your friends today, because you have to baby-sit me." Someone says, "This isn't a high school dance -- this is POTUS." Dr. M. squats in front of A.G., who's still sitting on the bench, and asks him to stay put. A.G., dumber than a box of rocks, asks, "What's a 'POTUS'?" Ooh, I know, I know! Dr. M. grits his teeth and says, "The 'O' stands for of, and the 'T' stands for the." A.G., so not-funny, says "Thanks Vanna, I'd like to buy a vowel." OH MY GOD, 'POTUS' stands for he President of the United States, okay! ["Yeah, doesn't A.G. watch The West Wing?" -- Wing Chun] But A.G. can't go along. A rather annoying bargaining session takes place, which, if A.G. really feared for his life, would never happen. A.G. is granted permission to wander around two square blocks for fifteen minutes, and if Dr. M. hears that A.G. drew any attention to himself he'll "open (A.G.) up and forget the anesthesia, if you know what I mean." A.G. hugs him at this. So cuddly!