Hollywood Homicide

Episode Report Card
Keckler: C- | Grade It Now!
L.A. Whore-y
Interrogation room. Megan confirms that Andrea's email address is Love2love, which makes her the blackmailer, not Tracy, and asks what she has on Brett Chandler. Andrea stares at Don and pouts, "What's it worth to you?" Don frowns disgustedly at her and says she's in no position to deal. "I'm in exactly a position to deal -- I can help you catch a killer," Andrea prims. Oh my god -- she's wearing a tight black knit dress. She's got on spiked heels, and the dress is a sleeveless turtleneck that hits above her crossed knees. If she uncrosses and recrosses her legs, I'm taking an ice pick to my television set. Don wants to know how she found the secret out in the first place. Logan told Andrea something about Brett -- pillow talk, Andrea assumes -- and Tracy told her. "She was really into the twins thing -- thought it made us best friends," Andrea notes with a sneer. "Some friend," Megan points out. Andrea says they didn't even know each other before the surgery, but they were similar types, so the Madam put them together. After that, Andrea saw her opportunity. "So, it doesn't bother you that your 'opportunity' got Tracy killed?" Megan asks incredulously. "Like I said, she wasn't my real sister," Andrea protests, and then sighs that she's getting bored. She tells Don he gets her info only if he guarantees she's not charged with blackmail. "You tell us, or I'm gonna guarantee you're charged with an accessory to murder as well as blackmail," Don says with a smile. Andrea gives him a sassy sidelong look and purses her lips. She leans in conspiratorially and asks, "What good is a secret if you can't share it anyway?" She asks if they know about Brett's brother. All they know is he was killed in a carjacking. But of course it's not the real story, Andrea says. So, Andrea was the one blackmailing Logan? Or did Logan think Tracy was blackmailing him? And that Lee brother, did he know it was Andrea who was his "big earner," or was he also duped with mistaken identity? This episode is hole-ier than a fifty-pound drum of Emmenthaler cheese.

Chez Brett. Brett finds Colby and Liz in his living room, and acts all pleasantly surprised. Colby tells him that the secret about his brother is out -- they know he killed him. Brett looks warily at them and repeats that his brother was killed in a botched carjacking. "Check with the police." They did. Colby explains that the only witnesses were him, Josh, and Logan, and they all gave identical reports. Not similar, which would be natural, but word-for-word identical, which is unnatural -- unless it's rehearsed. Liz flares her neon pink lipstick at Brett. Brett babbles that he loved his brother and never would have hurt him. "Then why don't you start showing him the respect he deserves," Colby menaces. "Tell the truth. Stop acting." Brett sits down in defeat. He had just landed his first role and they were all out celebrating. They were drunk and they had a gun. They were fooling around in a bar parking lot and he was using a gun as a prop. As you do. The gun went off, Scott-Scanlon-style. But instead of accidental suicide, it was accidental murder. Brett sighs, "I'm glad it's out. I am! They can't hold it over me anymore." "Who?" Colby wonders. "My guys! My boys," Brett says, sarcastically gesturing outside. "Why do you think I let them live in my house, drive my cars, and spend my money? If I cut them off, it wouldn't have been ten minutes before they sold me out to the tabloids." "That's what Logan meant when he said everything would fall apart," Liz explains to Colby. Colby tells Brett that the three of them had a motive to kill Tracy -- Tracy, not Andrea?! -- but with Logan dead, it's just Josh and him. …UGH! I still don't get why Tracy was killed! Is it because she told Andrea, and was the reason why Andrea was blackmailing them? Is it because they thought Tracy was Andrea and therefore the blackmailer? Or vice versa?! This is RIDICULOUS!

Brett gets this look on his face and says, "No, Mark Green knew, too, and Josh was with me when Logan was shot, so…" Comprehension spreads across his face, and he runs outside and flings open the door to the deck. He's just now figuring this out? Why didn't he realize this before? It's not like he didn't know until Colby pointed it out that he and Josh were together the night Logan was murdered! Who the hell did he think killed Logan if not Mark? "You son of a bitch! You killed Logan?" Brett sort of yells. Instead of hissing, "Lindsay Lohan-ic breakdown" to all listening, Mark leaps over the balcony railing. Colby leans over the railing and looks down. Mark pulls a gun out of his back waistband and shoots at Colby, totally missing him. People screech. Colby jumps over the railing while Liz runs around to head Mark off. Mark runs near the pool, firing behind him. The mooches by the pool scream and soil their suits. Mark grabs at a useful bikini and holds her hostage, warning Colby not to get any closer. Colby tells him to "Let. Go. Of the girl." Mark says he has nothing left to lose, so he swears he'll kill her. And then what? Liz runs down the interior stairs and onto the patio. "Drop it!" she yells. Mark swings his gun to her, letting go of the bikini. Liz fires once at his right arm, and he's hurled into the pool. Shedding his jacket, Colby jumps in after him and pushes Mark the Murderer to the side. Liz hauls him out.

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