Numb3rs
Hollywood Homicide

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Keckler: C- | Grade It Now!
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L.A. Whore-y
In the bathroom, Larry quickly notes, "Oh, I may have to take back a portion of what I just said." He climbs into the tub and groans, "Nothing like this in the monastery and you know how I love a good soak." "That's about where she died," Charlie reminds him. "All right -- that's unpleasant," Larry says immediately, swinging his legs right back out. Hee.

Apropos of nothing other than my love for Larry, I think it would be fascinating to explore a storyline where Megan got pregnant. Imagine how philosophical Larry would get -- and, at times, freaked out -- about impending fatherhood and all the pressures and responsibilities it brings. It would also draw him even closer to Alan and once again make him an object lesson for Charlie, who would still be childless.

Brett shambles in to the bathroom and asks if they're with the FBI. Charlie is starstruck and stumbles all over himself. Brett acutely observes, "You guys don't look like FBI agents." Wait, I need to write an algorithm for how fast this meta anvil falls! Charlie explains they are professors of physics and math. Larry unnecessarily explains he's on sabbatical from his professorial duties. "So…you're not with the FBI," Brett determines. Larry slowly shakes his head, while Charlie babbles that they consult with the agency. "What -- solving crimes with math?" Brett smiles, thinking he's cracking a joke. The only thing that could have made this even more anvilicious was if Brett added, "Oh, yeah -- I've seen that show." See, when Psych did it with Shawn commenting how writing on transparent surfaces always worked for those Numb3rs guys, or when they had Lou Diamond Phillips parodying his Agent Edgerton character as "Special" (tm Shawn), it was funny. Here it's just too obviously self-referential. "Uh, no offense but how's that supposed to work?" Brett asks. Well, conveniently there's now a book out there that will tell you just that! Go! Read! Charlie then throws a lot of big and technical words at Brett as he explains what specifically they're going to do in the bathtub. He whips out a photo and says, "In this picture we can see that the final water level in the tub is just right about here." Charlie clambers into the tub and points. They know this level because of the area of wetness of the towel and where it was lying on the tub. Because the towel would have never gotten wet while the victim STRUGGLED DESPERATELY FOR HER LIFE. Meanwhile, the episode thread has already adequately ranted over the inaccuracies of the whole displacement result, so I'll leave it at: "Pah!" Larry takes over and says they will have to account for absorbency, evaporation, and bubbles, "but we do know that at some point, the minimum level of the water is just about here." Larry points. Charlie explains that the level is high, because someone else was in the tub. "The killer," Brett catches on. Charlie gives him a gold star and says when they determine the volume of the water between the two lines, they can come up with the "killer's body size." "Sounds like something out of a movie," Brett says. Charlie and Larry laugh with no irony at all. "Only not as cool," Brett adds. Oh, funny, funny man! Larry and Charlie's faces fall.

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Numb3rs

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