Colby, in his chair of torture, is sweating and slightly writhing. Kilmer explains that he's administered a non-lethal dose of tubocurarine. "It paralyzes the muscles and depresses the respiratory capabilities, creating what I've heard described as the sensation of slowly drowning." Would that be slowly drowning in popcorn? All the cords on Colby neck are standing out as he tenses and untenses. Kilmer walks around to do some more evil speechifying about how far he's willing to go to get information out of Colby. He mentions something about multiplying by five, which is just him showing off -- Charlie's not the only one who can do math on this show. Carter, seemingly unable to sit still while his Afghanistan buddy suffers, gets up and walks behind Colby to stand facing a wall and sneaks surreptitious glances at him.
FBI. Charlie pontificates about Carter getting to China by a direct and safe path, and reminds them all that Carter is well aware of dragnets and surveillance. But then Charlie has to have a mathspaz, which just gets me all upset -- Colby is being SLOWLY TORTURED GET TO THE FUCKING POINT CHARLIE! He talks about the possible existence of a twenty-six-sided room in which a lit match could not reach all corners. "In the spirit of that problem and solution, I look for Carter's dark corner -- the nearest, safest Chinese soil," Charlie FINALLY concludes. Because he COULDN'T have jus SAID that and cut out all the showoffy BULLSHIT! David extrapolates, "We already have the Chinese consulate staked out." Thinking the way David, Megan, or Don should have already been thinking, Charlie points out that any boat sailing the Chinese flag is considered foreign soil once it's outside of the "contiguous zone," which is twenty-four nautical miles offshore. (That would be 28.8 normal miles, FYI.) "It's practically untouchable," Megan supplies. Charlie goes on that a "value-based algorithm" ruled out private yachts, cruise ships, and any other ship unable to make a transpacific journey. All this by way of saying that the most viable vessels are freighters, and as of yesterday the port of Los Angeles had thirteen Chinese freighters. Somehow I'd think the FBI should realized this all along, and not needed Charlie to mathspaz all over it.
The torture of Colby continues. Kilmer wants to know if "they" know his name and if his contacts and network have been compromised. Colby says Kirkland never told him those things and he never asked. "Is that what Kirkland said when I asked him?" Kilmer asks. "I know Kirkland," Colby gruffs. "If you tortured him, he didn't tell you anything." "That's right," Kilmer snaps, and primes another syringe, explaining, "Quinuclidinyl benzilate. It produces akathisia -- an intense desire to move." Is that like restless-leg syndrome? Or by "move," does he mean "his bowels"? Kilmer goes on, "It also amplifies pain receptors so that even a pinprick will feel like you're being stabbed." Carter continues to fidget. "It also causes hallucinations and a loss of physical and mental control," Colby recites, bored. Kilmer snaps a look at him and bites out, "Good. Then you'll know what to expect." Methinks someone's annoyed that he doesn't get to be the only Dr. Evil with an MD in torture! Kilmer strips off his latex gloves.