GLORIA'S FAT KIDS
Gloria: "We hate sugar, right?"
Fat Kids: "No, we think it's awesome. The entire food industry is about the fact that it is awesome, and we're just falling in line because the food industry is not really subject to any kind of regulation and American health is marginal to profit as legislated by lobbyists for the people-killer food industry and its attendant remora industries. Also corn."
Gloria: "You know what's really cool? Raisins."
Fat Kids: "Stop patronizing us, thanks."
Gloria: Does an amazing trick where she makes the raisin box squeal really loud, like a grass whistle. Also she has lost one of the fat children.
Is a coughing ginger lady named Ruth. Gloria marches the fat kids through there; Ruth keeps talking. Coop drags Jackie to the Chapel, causing her to cross her furious arms even more furiously than ever before.
Coop: "People are scared of you! You'll make the perfect wedding coordinator."
Jackie: "No. Make Zoey."
Coop: "Nobody listens to Zoey! Plus my moms!"
Jackie: "This is your last divorced-parents card, Coop."
Coop: "Playing it! Also, my fiancée Cricket reminds me of you."
Jackie: "Really. Well. Good luck, then. With that."
Lenny: "Do you throw yourself a party down here every week? Because this is very dramatic. Is this about an anniversary or some shit?"
Zoey: "No, it is about appreciation. See the sign?"
Lenny: "Nope, later."
Thor: "Look at the intense way you have thrown this party! There are fifty balloons, streamers everywhere, a buffet on a gurney, and a giant x-ray lightbox display that says THANK YOU NURSES. Is your theory that by making this as big a deal as possible, you will proportionally turn down the volume on how pathetic it remains?"
Zoey: "That is sort of my whole life."
Thor: "You are so sweet. And I am singing at Coop's wedding. Let's start now."
People singing makes me so uncomfortable.
Zoey, begging: "No. Stop."