Nurse Jackie
Batting Practice

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Sobriety Loses Its Priority
you're going to suggest somehow rerouting Coop that drastically? For a show that relies on the complexity of its characters in order to sell itself, I can't think of any characters that are actually all that complex at this point, and his complexity in particular didn't even last the first season. His facets are: Loneliness, boob-grabbing, childishness, and hotness. None of which would make it out of a marriage alive, or mean anything if they did. It's the opposite of getting hit by a truck.

PATIENT TWO

Sam: "I'm giving the coughing lady codeine."
Jackie: "I feel free to judge everybody for that right now."
Ruth: "Lady, get out of my face a little bit."
Jackie: "Get out of this hospital without any unnecessary opiates, or you'll get hospital sickness. Just stop eating dairy for awhile."
Ruth: "I do eat a lot of ice cream."
Jackie: "Give me those drugs he just gave you so I can take all of them."

BATHROOM

Kelly comes running in, so she has to stash her codeine quickly which annoys her: "I love how you chest-tubed that guy! It was just like I imagine things to be in Haiti! Er, I mean, how things totally were in Haiti. Let's get a drink after work and be friends!"
Jackie: "I don't have friends, I have tools."
Kelly: "Okay, I'm to blame for the HR deal. I didn't say your name, though."
Jackie: "Why not just tell them?"
Kelly: "To confuse the enemy."
Jackie: "How is it we're on the same side? And what, so you can gloat over the shit you've got on me?"
Kelly: "come out after work and you'll have shit on me, too."

Kevin calls; she ignores it and takes her drugs. They are finally just the worst couple.

PHARMACY

Eddie: "I can't be your best man. I think this is a terrible idea and I don't like you. Plus, I'm so nervous about the concept of marriage because I fuck wives and then their husbands scare me at batting practice."
Coop: "It's my day! My big day!"

BASEMENT PARTY

Thor: "Sorry your party sucks and nobody cares about us."
Cute Police Guy: "Is Zoey here? I wanted to bring her some appreciative flowers."
Zoey: "Shut up."
Thor: "Who sent you?"
Zoey: "Are you fucking with me?"
Guy: "Um, no? My whole family is 100% nurses and I thought you should get flowers."
Zoey: Still looks like she's going to stab him; finally takes the flowers.
Cop: "And you look nice. Nice jeans."
Zoey: Acts super weird.
Thor: Kinda horrified.

She invites him to the party and he's like what party and she's like I know and they accidentally make a date, which bothers Thor, so she tells him to shut up. I don't know how they fucked up the relationship between the two cutest people, but I am totally bored by the Zoey/Lenny thing. It's like there wants to be a story there, but the chain is off the wheel and all you see is feet, feet, feet peddling and the bike isn't going anywhere.

The fat kids show up, and Zoey lights up like Christmas.

OUTSIDE

Eddie: "Coop, I'm sorry I yelled at you about unrelated shit."
Coop: "It's okay! I don't remember when things happen."
Eddie: "I'm having a bad day, that's all."
Coop: "Listen, I'm 35 and I don't want to be alone anymore and I love this girl."
Eddie: "Great, but I still don't want to be involved in this."
Coop: "Please?"
Eddie: "Okay, but don't hug me right now."
Coop: "I'm hugging you in my mind."
Eddie: "Okay, that's kind of cute."
Coop: "Sometimes I'm cute."

ELEANOR'S OFFICE

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Nurse Jackie

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