"Tonight, Gracie is having a sleepover with her friend Kaitlyn." They agree that Kaitlyn is the worst, and Eddie asks about Kevin, what about his old friend Kevin, what's he up to, and all the smiles about Horrible Kaitlyn drain away. "Okay. That, I can't do." Seriously. Never talk to the one about the other, that's as bad as the cheating because then it's like laughing at them. She tells him, pursuant to this latter cause, that he needs to stop bromancing her husband: While it's cute, it's also mindbendingly terrible.

Both because of the danger and because of this thing which I am still unable to voice but am beginning to grasp about Jackie, and I try to figure it out every week, but it has to do with the very understandable need to compartmentalize these two halves of her life while at the same time bringing them into conflict, in her mind, so it makes sense. It adds up to her whole life. And I feel like I understand it but it's hard to talk about. Essentially, without Kevin existing and making Eddie an Affair, she would be dating Eddie, which can't happen. And without Eddie, her life with Kevin got way too real, way too fast. And she started caring and getting nervous and anxious and jealous and all the things normal boring people get. But because her feelings are more intense and more special and more important than everybody else's... No, see, I had it and then I lost it again.

Point being, the streams can't cross in real life, because that ruins the whole illusion. It's only Jackie that's allowed to be like, "Go see a movie without me? Fine, I'll fuck a pharmacist." But for those worlds to actually touch, that's not only way dangerous but also runs counter to the desired effect, wherein she's the king of both kingdoms and they both have to do what she says, or else she'll just pop over to the other one. The fact that Kevin doesn't know about Eddie doesn't matter: It's about the feelings -- superiority, revenge, triumph -- that happen in her. She gets to have those feelings whether or not Kevin ever finds out. And if he does, the game's over: If Kevin's feelings mattered, or even existed -- if anybody besides the addict existed -- then none of this would be happening.

Eddie gives a sort of blowsy agreement, but immediately distracts Jackie with some pills -- I feel like part of this is that he likes Kevin, actually likes him, because they are very lonely people and have a lot in common and have spent a lot of time getting to know each other -- and of course this is her entrée to say that A) Her back is fine and B) The other reason she takes pills is also fine because C) She's there sleeping with him and waking up with him because she likes him, not because he's a drug dealer. Because we want things to be one or the other, and Jackie's the only one of us who truly understands ambiguity and it makes her really nervous when you try to pin her down. "You like me, huh?" he asks, and she's like, "What do you want me to say?" Then she gets the eff up out of there.