Jackie stares up at her, looming in a threatening way, and goes, "Whattayou, a shrink?" So obviously Kaitlyn immediately asks what Jackie was doing inhaling shit through a straw downstairs in the fake bomb shelter. Jackie, hating her like you rarely hate a little girl, flips into a sort of amazing lie about how it's a trick that nurses use to dry up their tear ducts, because they "see a lot of pain and suffering during the day and the last thing we want to do is come home and cry in front of our families."

Kaitlyn looks askance, but this is such an amazing lie that she can't outright call bullshit, so Jackie does one of her best and most frightening Addict Tricks: "I need a hug. Can I have one?" Kaitlyn is as petrified as Fitch Coop locked in the arms of amped-up Jackie, and it is so, so worth it.

The doorbell rings, saving them both from this naked-Santa moment, and horrible Ginny Flinn comes in with a crazy grin and some trashy casserole made with tater tots. "Kaitlyn says you guys order a lot of pizza!" She says everything like a makeup saleswoman having an orgasm on nitrous. Jackie tells her to suck it, basically, and then peels her off Kevin's penis and forces her to go in the kitchen.

Grace is not interested in cupcakes, because they are fun and delicious and because children love cupcakes. Also because "Kaitlyn and Fi touched them with their bare hands and filled them full of their bacteria." I would probably eat cupcakes that Fiona made, because at worst her hands would just be covered in like grave dirt, or uranium dust from a bomb she's making somewhere, but I would not eat Kaitlyn cupcakes because she is barfy. "I washed my hands, Grace, right in front of you like you told me to," Kaitlyn says brightly/evilly. "She made me wash my hands!" she exclaims. I like how even though Kaitlyn is a raving bitch, she is also never wrong.

Jackie, defensive as usual: "Well, washing your hands is sanitary. Thank you for setting such a good example, honey." Moms always do that, and you never see it on TV: They will straight up lie about their kids' behavior if it calls their own parenting into question. "I can't understand why her weight's not going down, Doctor! She only eats vegetables and whole grains!" Grace explains to the Flinns that even washing your hands every two minutes is not insane, compared to the aching death of swine flu, and Jackie shoots enough steely glances their way that Ginny finally bounces, to say goodbye to "Kev."