Jackie gets home at two in the morning -- Kevin's asleep and looking dreamy as hell -- and puts on her jammies and cleans out her pockets. On the dresser, the music winks at us, are five tickets to the worst movie ever made in the history of cinema. She turns on the light and wakes him up: "Really? Alice in Wonderland?" My thoughts exactly.

He admits that he went with the girls, and -- with a little prodding -- Ginny and Kaitlyn Flinn. Dumb, dumb move. He swears it was a last minute thing, and for him it is -- this is the man who let Creepy Eddie play Uno with his kids after a week of knowing him only as a bar regular -- but Jackie assures him that for Ginny it was no such thing. "Last minute? Please. That woman has been planning what to wear since high school." Kevin calls her jealous and crazy, and Jackie brushes her teeth and reminds him that Ginny's marriage is falling apart. "Seriously, Jackie, you're nuts," he mumbles from his hands.

"Seriously, Kevin? You're mine." She flops into bed with him, and then decides to prove the point by boning him. Things are adorable, and then they get hot, and then it goes away again. It's painfully accurate how quickly this can happen. "Oh. Shit. I'm sleeping on the couch." Is she overreacting? Or is she reacting? (Does Jackie Peyton know the difference?)

He follows her downstairs, and she admits that she's partially pissed because she wanted to see that shitty movie. Why didn't he at least alert her to the fact that they were leaving her out? (This is the part that would bug me too.) Kevin says he didn't want to tell her because she would end up sleeping on the couch, which congratulations. "See where that gets ya," she says, and hurls herself away, into the couch. Very real. Too real. As is him standing there in his boxers like, "What now?"

The girls are staring down at her in the morning, eating cereal out of the box. Fiona wants to marry Johnny Depp (of course) and (also of course) this is Grace's spooky two-word review: "Tim Burton." I love the way she says this, shuffling cereal into her face, like that's all you need to know: Tim Burton, Grace's total inspiration in all areas of life. Fiona impresses upon Jackie that she needs to see it, that she'll really like it, and Jackie can't even open her eyes for a second. I love how kids don't even know what's going on, like, Jackie's half-awake but still pissed they went without her, and Fiona's not even being that normal tiny amount of mean when she's like, "Mom, this was so your movie." Jackie breathes for a sec and then grins without opening her eyes: "Okay. Done."