Sam approaches Jackie and apologizes for that time he was fucked up and called her a drug addict, and gets all rehab on her -- " if you ever want to talk or go to a meeting" -- and she of course has no idea what he's talking about, firstly, and secondly will never be his friend, because he's like the Gollum of her addiction, which in this metaphor would be played by Frodo: Sam is the horrible thing that she could turn into if she fucks up even one little time.

Gloria screams death threats into her phone and the punchline is, "Thank you, Monsignor. Have a good day." Fitch Coop comes running in to lodge a formal complaint against a nurse. Gloria's face lights up and she goes, "Super!" But then she finds out that he's talking about Nurse Jackie, and the light goes out of her eyes once again. "She constantly challenges my decisions, is bossy and rude and unpleasant. Bully. That's the word, she's a bully." Her word. "There's a chain of command here that she refuses to acknowledge. I am at the top of that chain of command, okay? She is at the bottom and I am the top." Nobody even believes that anyway, and you're wrong, but go on. "If this were a Food Pyramid, I would be the steak."

Instead of calling into question this entire thought process, Gloria just points out that technically, Fats & Oils are at the top of the Food Pyramid. "I am a good fucking doctor. And for a nurse -- a nurse -- to be messing with my head by constantly undermining me -- Am I going too fast? Because I can slow down if you need me to -- What happens when a patient gets wheeled in here one day and that poor guy sees Jackie yelling at me like I'm the world's biggest asshole? How do you think it makes the patient feel?" Coop is now weeping. It's amazing: "I don't think it makes him feel any better..." Gloria offers to look into this, writes "World's Biggest Asshole" in her notebook several times, and stares at his rapid breakdown. But she stares even harder at his rapid recovery: "That was good. I feel better. That was good." Akalitus, come on. He was raised by lesbians. Emotional processing is for him what Nintendo and glutens were for the rest of us.

Jackie takes over the deaf lady's husband's fight with his insurance -- I would say "timely!" except for how the entire concept and industry of medical insurance is fundamentally evil to begin with, and thus these cocksuckers could be calling from any year at all -- and uses all her Addict Skillz to get the surgery covered. It's both fun and funny to watch, but also incredibly frightening to see how good she is at being sneaky and sketchy and working people's shit.