In the room where Sam nearly died and where Nurses were recently Appreciated, Kevin gets Jackie to acknowledge he's been trying to have this conversation for weeks. Finally, and to my mind rightfully, Jackie finally tells him to spit it out. And this is what he says.
Kevin: "You can't just step outside a marriage and fuck someone else because things got hard, and expect the marriage to survive."
Jackie's guilty. Until he admits he's not talking about her.
She stares, pissed. She stares, relieved.
What happens when the warden puts the keys in your hand?
Her heart is breaking. Her heart sings. She sits there, on her knees. The solid wall, the rock-bottom, the jailer, the only one who knows her well enough to stop her -- to even ask. The only one besides Eleanor, who's joined her in the dark. It is dizzying.
"I don't know what I'm supposed to do," says Jackie. Jackie says, "What am I supposed to say?"
I love you, he says. I forgive you.
She can feel the keys in her hand; she hears a door slam shut. Those things are true, but they're not what she is doing. She can feel herself getting freer. The only things that kept her human, getting burned off while we speak. Kneeling on the floor at the bottom of the world.
"Pack your bags," she says. And nods to herself, briskly. She is terrified and in the dark; he's put the keys into her hands.
And upstairs, Gloria comes closer and closer to HR, almost there before she pitches the piss test into a garbage cart and keeps walking.
"Fuck 'em," she says, and heads back to the Chapel.
I guess in some ways this one's legit. I'd like to see Jackie without Kevin. Frankly, I don't know what purpose the girls really can serve anymore. I'd like to see the promise of Bill fulfilled and I'd like to see Jackie out of control, just once. Just once I'd like to see her let a little light in. But I doubt that this will happen either.
But when you think about addicts and how they get there, I don't know that it's all that unrealistic. Addiction, a lot of mental illness, can be resolved down to an embarrassing disconnect between the power we yield as adults over our own fates and the amount of responsibility we have toward that power. Like Thor, eating his sugar, or Eleanor's day-drinking, all of us do things we know are bad for us. The only difference between a child drinking to excess and an adult doing the same is that there's somebody there to tell him no.