Nurse Jackie
Deaf, Blind, Tumor, Pee-Test

Episode Report Card
admin: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Don't Even Think About Changing Her
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously, not that it generally matters: Kevin acted sketchy when he was here at all, and Jackie took her daughter's baby-Xanax. Eleanor offered to be Jackie's drug dealer, cementing the sort of awful dependence between them. Jackie was stepped down from handling drugs at work, to protect her and Gloria essentially, and she learned that Kelly is kind of an amazing bullshitter. Oh, and Coop dealt with his moms' divorce by marrying the first Facebook person that ever poked him back.

SCHOOL

Fiona: "Yes, I'm still on this show. I have graduated to burning shit with a magnifying glass."
Even Scarier Kid: "I have a lighter for us to play with."
Fiona: "That sounds enjoyable, to say the least."

ADMISSIONS

Crazy Dude: "I have lots of mental and developmental issues."
Jackie: "What a strange coincidence!"

Gloria: "Apparently the Pill-O-Matix and then firing you from half your job didn't do the trick, so now we've got piss tests."
Jackie: "When will this happen? I have lots of fluids to drink and a sauna to visit, so my day's pretty booked."
Kelly: "I too am looking forward to pissing in a cup after doing weird druggie activities."

Gloria: "In the tradition of '50s etiquette handbooks and pamphlets, I have started referring to dieting as 'reducing.'"
Gloria: Is still the greatest.

Everybody: Continues to be mean to the weirdo in Admitting. It's painful to watch. Jodie Foster would be proud.

Kelly & Jackie: Start pounding goldenseal and vitamins and kombucha, the very worst thing that has ever existed in all of existence. I remember when I saw Prince Of Darkness for the first time I thought that the Devil couldn't be a fluid and then I tried kombucha. Their junkie camaraderie is pretty fun to watch, but kind of a twist after the preceding season. It will be fun to watch them continue to like each other next year, assuming the show doesn't forget Kelly ever existed. RIP Momo.

NURSES' STATION

Thor: "Confederate reenactor was cleaning his sword..."
Jackie: "I honestly thought you were talking about sex just now."
Sam: "Nerds don't have sex."
(Coop, off-stage: "WRONG!")
Thor: "All four fingers, gone."
Zoey: "I feel sorry for the patients who are, you know... Stupid."
Thor: "This is actually a story about a guy I'm dating."
Jackie, and for real: "Raise the bar, Thor."

Thor obviously can have anything he wants. He's wondrous.

Coop: "[Wedding stuff]."
Nobody: Cares at all.
Coop: "I wish I was marrying Nurse Kelly."

Jackie puts Zoey on cake duty after she unwisely admits being excited about Coop's birthday, which is slash-his-wedding if you recall.

TRAUMA

Lenny: Starts shit with Eleanor about Patient One, who has a pipe coming out his chest; she goes with his instincts.

Patient Two: Not sure what's going on with him.

SCHOOL

There's a neat/meaningless transition involving scattered tongue depressors, and we switch back and forth between the two scenes.

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Nurse Jackie

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