Nurse Jackie
Nurse Jackie

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1134 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Don't Even Notice I Am Lying

An aged hipster with a fake-looking mustache bucks at an old lady as he's skateboarding past, causing her to yeep and fall down, and of course Jackie body-blocks him, because that's obligatory in every episode; luckily, it's awesome every time.

O'Hara: "She blindsided you? That's what happens when you get in her way."
Jackie: "If you don't stop accusing me of my actions I'm gonna be so mad! Peace out!"

Sam: "Are you and O'Hara fighting?"
Jackie: "Doctors are the enemy, babe."
Sam: "Right on."
Jackie: "One more thing? Mind your biz."
Sam deflates even further as Coop appears.
Coop: "Sam, I love you and I'm sorry I fucked your girlfriend but I've never had a guy friend before besides Eddie, and honestly he hates me as much as everybody else does."
Sam: "It's because you are the worst."
Coop: "My misguided grasping at the signifiers of masculinity must surely bear fruit at some point! Even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while! I had no father! Apparently I am the result when that happens!"

Zoey pulls a prodigious amount of gloves from every single area of herself, causing everybody's eyes to widen and widen and eventually they feel like she's crossed a line. "Second ago you thought it was magic," she gleams, and heads off to steal from Oncology. Thor, of course, is appalled by this. Zoey is in the grip of her mania and cannot be dissuaded. Eddie appears and kidnaps Jackie back to the pharmacy so he can whine at her about his "best friend" Kevin and how it makes him sad to lie to Kevin, etc.

What everybody seems to have forgotten is that Eddie only became friends with Kevin to fuck with Jackie, that was expressly and solely the reason, to ruin her marriage in retaliation for her not following his orders precisely and being in love with him, and when she was unaffected he tried to use their past relationship to blackmail her into fucking him. It is so characteristic of this show that now we're expected to respect the bromance between Eddie and Kevin, the meaningful details of which we are constantly being told and not shown, because they exist even less than the patients do.

Nurse Jackie

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