Another option: Don't care for your children in a bar.
PATIENTS TWO & THREE
Are a gross little pair of father-and-son dislocated shoulders. The father is unpleasant and nasty to everybody, but you can only be sure he's a villain because he's rude to Jackie. Also, that he needs to go to his PO so he's in a hurry. Jackie, stressing due to her unplanned detox, is forced to forge ahead with a conversation about treatment options that, thanks to his incessant interrupting and bitching, the son and daughter-in-law's attempts to socially smooth the situation over, and his resulting aggression towards them, is mind-bogglingly painful to watch.
Jackie: "Did you ever think about how I have a family and a history and we never talk about it on this show?"
Daughter-In-Law: "He broke my nose once, and I'm not even related."
Jackie: "Look, it's possible that I might accidentally kill him. Okay? That would really cheer me up."
DIL: "That would cheer my nose up."
ZOEY & LENNY
The rest of this episode, Zoey spends giving Lenny the third degree about their relationship since he's hooked up to a heart monitor. Which is fine, except their relationship continues to make zero sense from episode to episode, and we're covering ground that has already been covered in previous episodes of The Zoey & Lenny Show. So if you like cute set pieces like this, it's fairly cute and God knows the actors give their all, or if you pay so little attention that this seems relevant, then this is the C plot for you. But if you're the kind of person that gets annoyed when a show cares so little about telling you a story that hangs together, possibly they are not cute or working hard enough to make up for it.
Lenny Facts: He does not have "crazy" credit-card debt, or an ex-wife buried in his yard, or anything weird that he's not told her about, he does not even carry a credit card balance, although he does not vote because he is lazy and uninformed. He does not have a crush on Jackie, but she scares him; he compares her to "walking into a buzz saw."