Nurse Jackie
Have You Met Mrs. Jones?

Episode Report Card
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Fearful Arrogant Insecure Lonely Uncertain Resentful Empty
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously: This show thought about having a plot and then that idea got hit by a truck. Jackie's got a problem with the new nurse, which means he will probably get hit by a truck ASAP. Coop's parents got divorced like five episodes ago and he's in kind of a holding pattern about it; ditto Eddie who's in love with her but is starting to fuck with her in the most passive-aggressive ways he can think of, because he is pathetic. Speaking of the weakness of all men, Kevin thinks Jackie is a junkie, which she totally is, but she's got him brainwashed to not really care. Eleanor is buying a house or apartment.

OR, AS IT TURNS OUT, AN ENTIRE BUILDING

Jackie: "Well done, you. That's right, isn't it? Well done you?"
Eleanor: "Sure, British people say that I bet."
Jackie: "Listen, my 'head' really hurts. Do you have any drugs?"
Eleanor: "Why, because you're a huge selfish drug addict?"
Jackie: "Just kidding! I meant like aspirin. PS, I totally did not mean aspirin."
Eleanor: "How many aspirins do you need?"
Jackie: "One thousand of them. Wait, how many aspirins equals one drugs?"

ALL SAINTS

Sam: "I can't believe Devil Bill got run over just when something was going to happen. Lucky."
Kelly: "Sobriety! Just to bug Jackie!"
Sam: "Bad things happen to drug addicts sometimes."
Jackie: "Not on this show."

Eddie: "Kelly, you're in big trouble. Those heroin patches are missing."
Kelly: "I don't remember what happened when you handed me those powerful narcotics. I handed the drugs to a random person that I don't remember."
Eddie: "The chain of custody only matters a little bit. This hospital is like that sometimes."

Coop: "I am stalking a random person on Facebook. We're going to get married. She doesn't know it yet."
Eddie: "That will probably work out okay."

ELEVATOR

Gloria: "You totally bug Jackie."
Kelly: "Hope I don't get hit by a truck, then."
Gloria: "Come work at All Saints forever, is what I mean to say."
Kelly: "We'll see. If I don't go to jail or get hit by a truck. I am still pretty hot."
Gloria: "Plus Michelle Obama."
Kelly: "Yeah, plus that."

PATIENT ONE

Knocked herself in the head at a bachelor party. Cute, blonde.

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Nurse Jackie

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