Nurse Jackie
Have You Met Mrs. Jones?

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Fearful Arrogant Insecure Lonely Uncertain Resentful Empty

I spent about four hours at Ikea once, held aloft by those same angels, able to see around corners into nearby dioramas, and convinced that I could see all angles of people's faces at once, like they were Picassos. It was nice, but not that nice. I ended up playing Tokyo Drift with the giant carts and made friends with lots of little kids. Oh boy did I sleep on that ride home, I'll tell ya.

Sam asks for a bit of time out to go to Bill's funeral at the Devil Mausoleum for Drug-dealing Devils, and Jackie thinks about dicking him around because she hates Sam for basically no reason at this point except this show is only funny if you consider her acting like an unpleasant asshole to be funny, and then she reconsiders and tells him to pick up some NoDoz at Duane Reade for her. I'm sure this all adds up to some kind of rehab cocktail or something, but that's not the kind of information I would ever know.

Thor: "So how's your imaginary future coming along, and please tell me you did not buy a Rolex to impress your as-yet imaginary wife."
Coop: "I also plan on buying our engagement ring with our fantasy football winnings."
Thor: "Doesn't get much straighter than that."

Yeah, or tackier. Of course it is at this moment the poor woman accepts Coop's friend request, so it is quote "on," but I'm sure she'll get hit by a truck before anything happens here.


Kevin: "Hey Jackie, you know how I keep disappearing in every episode? This week it's to sell an old pinball machine from the bar, over in Montauk."
Jackie: "Why are you selling the old pinball machine?"
Kevin: "The sound of it bothers our daughter Grace."
Jackie: "Everything bothers Grace, so that is unsurprising. Have fun in Montauk."

Another option: Don't care for your children in a bar.


Are a gross little pair of father-and-son dislocated shoulders. The father is unpleasant and nasty to everybody, but you can only be sure he's a villain because he's rude to Jackie. Also, that he needs to go to his PO so he's in a hurry. Jackie, stressing due to her unplanned detox, is forced to forge ahead with a conversation about treatment options that, thanks to his incessant interrupting and bitching, the son and daughter-in-law's attempts to socially smooth the situation over, and his resulting aggression towards them, is mind-bogglingly painful to watch.

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Nurse Jackie




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