Jackie feels weird admitting it, but the motorcycle ride Queensward is actually kind of awesome. Eddie forgets himself and touches her hair, and she very smoothly takes that shit out of the equation. Out back, Eddie and Tunie have already hit it off, having that conversation TV people and regular people can't ever stop having about lighter fluid vs. no lighter fluid.
Grace: (Much crazy talk about CO2 offgassing, carbon footprint, turning the lights off when you're not in a room, etc.)
Eddie & Tunie: (Humor her lovingly, because at least she's not prophesying the end of days as usual. Then they flirt.)
Upstairs, Kevin's missing and there are a shit ton of clothes missing from the closet and drawers; clearly he has finally left Jackie's horrible ass. She comes zooming downstairs like they got pharmaceuticals.
Tunie: "Stop hyperventilating. Kevin took clothes to the girls' school for a clothing drive."
Fiona: "FOR THE UNFORTUNATE."
Jackie: (Moderately unclenches.)
Fiona: "What does fortunate mean?"
(Oh, honey. Don't even bother.)
Tunie: "Yeah, you know, just like stuff like all Kevin's clothes, apparently, and also stuff from all your drug-hiding spots down in the basement. No big deal. During the barbecue he is throwing for his friend that barely knows either of us."
Jackie: (Reclenches; Tunie drags her off for an aside once Grace realizes he's been gone for like two hours.)
Tunie: "Okay actually he went to an Al-Anon meeting, but since addiction is a shameful secret and recovery should be kept in the dark and moldy parts of our households, I was just lying before."
Jackie: "Oh, sorry. I don't care anymore and totally checked out about Kevin. Now, you said something about my drug-hiding places?"
Jackie, agonizing minutes or hours or days later: "Welcome home, Kevin! You sure haven't been gone a suspiciously long time! During this party that you threw for your friend who barely knows the rest of us as far as you know. Hey, listen, Eddie and Tunie are having a great time out in the backyard. I think age-inappropriate relationships nobody ever mentions are the most stable of all."
Kevin: "Yeah, look at us!"
Jackie: "Annnnyway, I'm going to go rifle through those clothes you donated and steal back my drugs from those nuns, okay? Or hey, do you want to come? I've done much sketchier shit in front of you and you still never notice, so I'm sure it'll be fine. Plus I need to be distracted from how my boyfriend is now somehow dating both my husband and my sister-in-law."
Kevin: "Listen, our marriage is doing great. You do whatever you want. I'm content to flirt with you for a bit and then let you run out into the metropolitan night to act weird like usual. I'm still tired from that Al-Anon meeting I may or may not have attended."