Eleanor joins Jackie before a statue of St. Sebastian, lips gone tight and sad, and identifies with him: The million arrows stuck through him, through and through. They finally discuss Sarah, in code, and Jackie admits that, "for whatever it's worth, it is possible to love more than one person at a time." She loves Kevin, she loves Eddie... "I might love Eddie," she corrects herself, having said a bit much, and to her credit Eleanor doesn't snort a bit when she says, "I'd rather be dead than be Kevin or Eddie." Line of the night? It's a great episode, dialogue-wise among other things, but still.
They stare at the saint, and Jackie -- they can't look at each other for these conversations -- sighs. "Don't get me wrong, I liked Sarah, but I'm glad she's gone. What can I say? I like being your girl." She checks Eleanor's face, after a nervous moment; Eleanor doesn't smile to herself until Jackie's looked away again. Friendship is tricky; honesty is trickier. I do believe that's the kindest thing Jackie's ever allowed herself to say out loud. I like her like this, as Kevin would say.
Hayes pulls Jackie over on her way out the door and explains that Markus was a lawyer, and signed a DNR. Harvey signed on for the deactivation, but now has cold feet. This must be dealt with, because she's got an eighth grade cello recital in 45 minutes. "Same thing happened during the Christmas concert," she growls, and Jackie nods. Hayes bears a strong resemblance to Elena Kagan.
Jackie stops in to say goodnight, in her usual oblique way of solving these things, and Harvey asks her to run through the deactivation thing, since it's 1992 and thus that age-old drag queen/lesbian conflict must rear its head and he hates Hayes. So they wave a thing over the heart, and whatever's in there -- pacemaker or defibrillator, or as Harvey suggests, "record players ... sewing machines" -- will turn off. Otherwise, the heart will eventually stop beating only to be shocked back to life again, over and over, forever. "It's a quality-of-life thing," Jackie nods, and Harvey admits that his life's gonna suck either way. He has a quiet humor, I think is what it is, more than anything, that makes it okay. He knows what he's saying and how it sounds, which makes it all worthwhile.
"He will go back to the heart he was born with," Jackie explains, which Harvey knows was a shitty heart. Which Jackie says she understands, in a way that suggests she's realizing, or Eddie is realizing, that they're only alive via defibrillator. She was born with a shitty heart, maybe, and no matter how hard Eddie tries, it's just a fake cast on something irrevocably broken. And if she can convince herself of that, then it's just a quick jump down the rabbit hole.