While Jackie shampoos the kids' heads -- which is of course the entirety of the "treatment" this bitch schlepped her kids all the way to All Saints to get -- she gives them a pretty hilarious and unending monologue about "you floor me, you really do, this is precisely why I bought you your own helmets" and stuff like that. Jackie congratulates both kids, quite audibly, on their compassion and willingness to share, and tells the mom that she needs to do the same thing tomorrow. She's like, "Can't we do this all now? I don't want to touch them." Which is admirably honest, but Jackie hasn't been able to touch her daughter, or reach her, in just long enough that now it's later and she's calling the woman's local drugstore, telling them to deliver some of their biggest boxes of Quell -- or whatever says LICE on it in the biggest letters -- and to leave it with the doorman, no bag, to make sure she doesn't miss it. She hangs up and smiles.

Gloria meets with the lawyer, but not to legalize her kidnapping: they've found the parents. If you wanna use that word. She's like, "Um, I am not handing this baby over to just anybody," and the dude's like, "That's why they are called THE PARENTS. It's a distinguishing characteristic." When Gloria points out that they left their baby on top of a random filing cabinet, he says they're just young and overwhelmed. "Barack Obama's mother was eighteen!" Gloria says, amazingly. Plus, to add insult to injury, the baby is named Dalton. I was going to say, if he was a girl that would make him a stripper, but honestly it still does.

Then it's later and Eddie's giving Jackie another one of his cosmological speeches, which always give his voice a reverential air nobody really ever gets, besides Coop when he's talking about, like, hamburgers. This time -- spurred on by Eddie's imminent departure, as tomorrow is Pyxis Day -- he's telling a "brain-exploding" story about parallel universes, using some Billy Corgan-level slippery-slope logic. It would seem, in the Harmacy, that everything is made out of atoms, which contain electrons. So far so good.