Jackie: "Hey, why don't I take those magical drugs upstairs for you, so you don't have to figure out where Oncology is, ever. Surely they won't compare inventory and fire your ass. And I know you won't question my motives because of your blind male privilege."
Kelly: "On this show, it really could go either way. More than likely they'll realize it's missing, and there will be a big cliffhanger where we're both about to get fired, and then the next episode will start with us pretending none of that ever happened."
Jackie: "Look, I just want some drugs. I am as addicted to drugs as this show is to setting up false expectations and then refusing to meet them, in a manner so aggressive it almost seems spiteful."

AKALITUS

Gloria: Literally snipping at a bonsai tree, like this is a 1989 sitcom. I was going to write something like, she's playing with a Zen garden or cutting a bonsai tree, and then was horrified to remember that she actually is.
Jackie: "The fact that you gave Nurse Kelly Saturday off is going to cause a riot."
Gloria: "No, it's not. Everybody loves him. This is about you."
Jackie: "I want Saturday off."
Gloria: "You want Saturday off?"
Jackie: "No, like I want the idea."

DANCES WITH MOCCASINS

Coop: "I tread softly on that line between how straight guys actually behave, and how gay dudes actually do."
Wind Walker: "You do it well, generally."
Coop: "You are testing my abilities here to their utmost."
Wind Walker: "Sorry about your moms, and your bunion."
Coop: "Wait, did you just read about my bunion from my soul or something?"
WW: "No, I have had a bunion."
Coop, honestly he says this: "Moccasins."
Sigh, Whatever: "Here is a kite."

Coop: "That's literally all it takes! Thanks, Chief!"
Wind Walker: "Um."
Coop: "Not like Indian Chief, like um, I want to be Chief Physician Chief. And I call everybody Chief. I think I'm having a stroke."
Wind Walker: " I get it, you're a douchebag, already knew that, we're cool. See you on the flipside."
Coop: "Okay, Tonto! ...Oh, God damn it."