He reaches out to give Wind Walker's nipple the tiniest of tweaks. Just kidding. Same difference.
OUT ON THE STREET
Coop: Hobbling around like a grinning dorky maniac, with the kite. It's hard to watch.
God: "Against the wind, you moron! You'll never get this high!"
Coop: "We had a connection!"
Jackie: Has less and less to say in response to Fitch's antics.
Kelly: "Is that Eddie getting into Eleanor's Towncar?"
Jackie: "I'm just kind of going to lose it now, a little bit."
Kevin, angry and whatever: "Hey, I found all these drugs in the car and now I'm like twice as tall as usual. On the other hand, my clothes get tighter every episode so you can really see what I'm working with."
Jackie, jittery and awful: "Oh yeah? Well I'm going to talk as fast as I can and lie about all kinds of shit, just like in every episode where this happens, only this time I'm basically telling the truth, but it's mostly just a coincidence."
Kevin: "I'm not buying it, Jackie! You always do this! Our marriage is in trouble!"
Jackie, producing Bill's 30-Day chip from last week: "[Tells the story Sam told her that is actually about her, to prove she's been going to meetings, so quickly that it seems nearly logical.]"
Kevin: "Well, I guess I believe you suddenly, again. Thank God you've been carrying that chip around all week since last episode."
Jackie: "Um, thank God I've got this patch on my arm that's 100 times stronger than morphine or I probably would have just beat it and run my ass through the screen door."
But you know what would be awesome is, what if that happened. Or what if Fiona found the dental floss in the car and used it, or almost used it, or totally used it and then totally died. Or what if Eleanor and Eddie started fucking and Jackie had to deal with forgiving Eleanor for something instead of continually setting it up for people to forgive Jackie for no real reason. Or what if Zoey found out about one of Jackie's trillion misdeeds and was led to compromise her own morals in order to protect her heroine? That would just kill.
Or what if Fitch Cooper wasn't a complicated joke about the emotional life of cardboard? Or what if Eddie had a storyline other than "Dating somebody, just kidding"? Or what if Kevin was more than a boltnecked Frankenstein with a single on/off switch? I've seen this season. There is exactly one game-changer I can think of, and it happens in such a way that it might end up not mattering just as much as anything else that ever happens on this bizarre pillow dream of a show.