Nurse Jackie
Orchids & Salami

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Sicker Than Other People
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously, Nurse Kelly was a dude all over Nurse Jackie's business, and must be destroyed. Also, somebody on this show remembered something that ever happened on this show, when Jackie dropped her drugs in the car on their way to the Oddly Sexy Old Lady Bed & Breakfast.

2 AM (GRACE CAN'T BREATHE)

Grace: "I need a consult in the middle of the night, because my constant anxiety is giving me heart palpitations."
Jackie: "Let's have midnight cocoa and pretend to have a relationship!"
Grace: "It's not midnight, idiot."
Jackie: "I love the times we spend together."

BETTER KNOW YOUR GRISLY SAINT DEATHS

Grace: "This one had her throat cut. This one was skinned alive. And this one was rolled on hot coals. Martyrdom appeals to me, due to my role in this family. Also due to the fact that I am a needy, unpleasant basket case."
Jackie: "I don't foresee you getting less crazy doing shit like this."
Grace, cleverly: "It's not scary, it's our religion!"

Grace: "There are over ten thousand saints. If I don't memorize all of them and also count every floorboard in the entire house by sunrise, our entire neighborhood will burn down."
Kevin: "If I were a saint I would be Santa Barbara, because of my soap-opera good looks. Mental illness is clearly something I'm adept at overlooking. Let's make funny jokes and lighten the mood!"
Grace: "Honestly it's like we've never met."

Jackie: "If I were a saint I would be St. Theresa, the saint of stealing narcotics from epileptics who turn out to be devil-worshipping enablers."
Kevin: "I don't get that joke. Was that important?"
Grace: "[Even more crazy-person antics.]"

THAT ONE CHEERFUL COFFEE SHOP WHERE EVERYBODY IS COINCIDENTALLY IN RECOVERY

Devil: "My name is Bill, as in Friend Of Bill. Stop trying to scam me out of drugs."

LATER

Sam: "You're a Friend of Bill? What a great sponsor he is! Considering everybody he sponsors ends up dead or in this diner."
Jackie: "No, that would mean I was in recovery, which this show will never allow to happen."
Sam: "Apropos of nothing, here's a story about a lady who stole drugs off her boyfriend who was OD-ing."
Jackie: "I will steal that story later to pretend to be a human being; the irony of how I did that almost exact thing to Bill himself last season. Right now, I have to pretend to receive a phone call so you'll go away."
Sam: "It was nice being on this show for five seconds."

ALL SAINTS SIDEWALK

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Nurse Jackie

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